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10) He said… I don’t know why you wear a bra; you’ve got nothing to put in it. She said…You wear briefs, don’t you? 9) She said…What do you mean by coming home half drunk? He said… It’s not my fault…I ran out of money. 8)He said… Since I first laid eyes on you, I’ve […]

As bikers, most of us realize we are engaged in an activity that can be inherently dangerous. Haulin’ the mail down the freeway at 100 mph + with no more than a few inches between you and the pavement can often times leave you in need of healthcare. Now, good health care will cost you

1. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview. 2. Your orgasms are real. Always. 3. Your last name stays put. 4. The garage is all yours. 5. Wedding plans take care of themselves. 6. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid. 7. Car mechanics tell you the truth.

When the white man found this land, Indians were running it. No Taxes… No Debt… Plenty Buffalo… Plenty beaver! Women did most of the work. The Medicine Man was free! Indian men hunted and fished all the time! And the white man was dumb enough to think he could improve system like that.

Let’s see if I understand how America works lately… If a woman burns her thighs on the hot coffee she was holding in her lap while driving, she blames the restaurant. If your teen-age son kills himself, you blame the rock ‘n’ roll music or musician he liked. If you smoke three packs a day

Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I

Due to product liability litigation as a result from recent events that occurred during “Bike Week” in Daytona Beach FL, the American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA’s suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all containers: WARNING:The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra.

Recently sent to us by Helen Wolfe who seems to have an amazing amout of insight into the bikernet garage, even though she is yet to be let in the door………….. HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate expensive parts not

I was in one of my favorite scooter shops the other day when in walked one of the largest rookies I’ve ever seen. Imagine a 300-pound Cliff Claven type wanting to find his balls and straddle a piece of good ole American iron. He informed the salesman that he’d never ridden a motorcycle before, and

So often I see a Car Person cut a biker off in traffic and after the biker beats the Car Person to death with a wrench, the bro drives away, leaving a perfectly good kill to go to waste. Now, I’m not one to advocate sparing Car People for any reason, in fact, I support

We’ve all been there but don’t like to admit it. We’ve all kicked back in our little space and suddenly felt something brew down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, SHIT is inevitable. For those who hate SHITTING at a public restroom, the following is the 2001 Survival Guide for taking

With each new year comes new opportunity. We’re all one year closer to those much-anticipated statues of limitations. We’re all one year older, which is a feat in itself. The new year is a time to make resolutions, which will lead to greater happiness, longer front forks, bigger jugs and faster rides. Below are a

One of the hardest things during the holidays is knowing what to get that special outlaw who has everything. To help our loyal readers (you should get a job) avoid the cliche’ gifts like fruitcake and pipe bombs, I’ve compiled a list of wonderful gifts that will delight the heart of even the most heartless

Road rumors are a part of being massive celebrities and the tall tales abound. In an effort to better inform our loyal bros and sisters from Italy to L.A., we?re taking on a few of the more regularly asked questions, to give you, our reader, (you really should be doing something else) the real lowdown

When searching for the perfect beer, it is often helpful to seek the advice of professionals. Having goodly experience in beer, wearing of beer, shampooing with beer and the drinking of beer, I have taken a few minutes out of my overpaid and very slack schedule of women and debauchery to give reviews of some

If you ride motorcycles right and if you ride long enough, you will eventually find yourself in the can, the big house, the pokey, county, or, as the civilians say it, in jail. Now finding yourself in the slammer isn’t any cause for alarm. In fact, I recommend it. It’s a good place to get

In the glamorous world of motorcycling, sex appeal is everything and those who aren?t fabulously hip are soon edged out by the outlaw who knows what bugs go with what outfit. In order to allow everyone a sporting chance to drop their kickstand in a gopher hole, I am listing some of my favorite ways

Being a well-known expert on the art of motorcycling, I frequently receive requests for tips, pointers and general advice from our bros out there across America and the world. In an effort to spread the wisdom, I have selected some of the most common questions and the solutions to these everyday situations, so that all

To my surprise I have found a great deal of bros on the road today fancy themselves as literary lions, adjective tamers and modifier mavens. It seems everyone from Bandit to the Chinaman is under the misconception that anyone cares what their life experiences are really all about. But the one thing I have noticed,

Bikers have always been known for their style and class and there’s no better of example of just how smooth bikers really are than when it comes to the ladies. And of course, the precursor to getting into any woman’s pants is the all-important pick-up line. It must appear to be sincere, gentle, sensitive and

Having spent considerable time with bikers of all nationalities, races, species, phylums, breeds and mutations, I have been privy to some of the most interesting displays of personal hygiene deficiencies known to man- and just about every other animal on the planet, past or present. This phenomena is due to the unidirectional flow of wind

Encountering local law enforcement is always a possibility when putting about on our favorite highways and the outcome of these chance meetings can vary greatly depending on your initial response. In order for these outcomes to be as favorable as possible, I’ve listed ten of my most effective initial responses, which I’ve given over the