It’s just a day after Halloween, but the mystery hasn’t subsided. There’s still the hint of evil, sex and blood in the air. It felt good to tinker in the garage all day and wonder what Saturday night would bring. I’m still hanging on. Yep, I’m wailing through the Sunday Post on Saturday Night. I’ve got a date with a wild Hispanic broad in the morning. The King is clean and detailed and ready to rumble at daybreak. Let’s hit the news:
Good Evening Mr. Bandit,
I had to get him naked and whip him good, but Mike finally came up with the answer I was looking for. STEALTH! What a perfect description!
Love and kisses,
–Meanest
That’s the referance to the old school flat black bikes, but I suspect that the message has deeper meaning.
MIAMI– Ex-cops Receive Prison Terms
A federal judge gives four ex-officers 13 to 37 months in prison for their roles in the worst Miami police scandal in years. Four former Miami police officers, politely but defiantly refusing to acknowledge that a jury branded them dirty for planting guns on unarmed suspects, remained stoic Wednesday as the judge handed down prison terms ranging from one to three years.
”The crimes committed by these four police officers are of a serious nature and should be sentenced as such,” said U.S. District Judge Alan S. Gold.
After the two-hour hearing, ex-cops Jesus ”Jessie” Aguero, Arturo Beguiristain, Jorge Castello and Oscar Ronda left the federal courthouse with their disconsolate wives, relatives and department colleagues.
Gold allowed them to remain free on bond pending the outcome of a lengthy and complicated appeal process.
”We don’t agree with the jury’s verdict,” said Ronda’s defense attorney, Albert Z. Levin. ”We think the jury was wrong. But we’ll take that up at another time, in another place,” he said, referring to the 11th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals.
”After we win the appeal, you won’t do a day,” defense attorney Richard Sharpstein told his two clients, Castello and Beguiristain.
Though federal prosecutors sought much lengthier sentences, U.S. Attorney Marcos Jim?nez said afterward the prison terms should send a strong message to any officers who might be tempted to disobey the laws they are entrusted to uphold.
”Four bad cops are going to prison for substantial prison terms,” Jim?nez said. “Instead of upholding a code of honor, they upheld a code of dishonor.”
Prosecutors Curtis Miner and Allan Kaiser mounted an ambitious conspiracy case, indicting a total of 13 officers for their involvement in four questionable police shootings between November 1995 and June 1997. In each case, prosecutors said guns were planted to justify the use of deadly force by the officers, once members of elite street-crime units.
BY LARRY LEBOWITZ
–from Rogue
I recently watched a report sum up this shit by saying that it’s a product of society’s drive to put everyone away. Society has disbanded their freedoms to arrest anything that moves. Then punish them to the fullest extent of the law. It’s payback time.
Bikernet Medical Facility
There’s nothing worse than a snotty doctor’s receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong in a room full of other patients. I know we all have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it.
An 86 year old man walked into a crowded doctor’s office. As he approached the desk, the receptionist said, “Yes sir, what are you seeing the doctor for today?”
“There’s something wrong with my penis,” he replied.
The receptionist became irritated and said, “You shouldn’t come into a crowded office and say things like that.”
“Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you,” he said.
The receptionist replied, “You’ve obviously caused some embarrassment in this room full of people..You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and then discussed the problem further with the doctor in private.”
The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered. The receptionist smiled smugly and asked, “Yes?”
“There’s something wrong with my ear,” he stated.
The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. “And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?”
“I can’t piss out of it,” the man replied.
The doctor’s office erupted in laughter.
–from Joan C.
“I Love Motorcycles”
I love motorcycles, and I love riding. Like many of you, what first drew me to bikes was not just the experience of riding, but the feeling that I’d become part of a special community, a brotherhood, really. Nothing calms me more than a long ride down the interstate, waving to the members of my beloved clan. Except when I pass Harley guys. I hate Harley guys. Hate, hate, hate.
When they pass me on the highway, you know what I do? I don’t wave. With their little tassle handlebars and the studded luggage and the half-helmets? God, they drive me crazy. You know who else I hate? BMW guys. Oh, I do hate those guys. I don’t wave at them, either. They think they’re so great, sitting all upright, with their 180-degree German engines. God, I hate them.
They’re almost as bad as those old bastards on their touring motorcycles. You know what I call those bikes? “Two-wheeled couches!” Get it? Because they’re so big. They drive around like they’ve got all day. Appreciate the scenery somewhere else, Grampa, and while you’re at it, I’m not waving to you.
Ducati guys? I don’t wave at them either. Why don’t they spend a little more money on their bikes? “You can have it in any color you want, as long as it’s red.” Aren’t you cool! Like they even know what a desmo-whatever engine is, anyway. Try finding the battery, you Italian-wannabe racers! I never, ever wave at those guys.
Suzuki guys aren’t much better, which is why I never wave at them, either. They always have those stupid helmets sitting on top of their stupid heads, and God forbid they should wear any safety gear. They make me so mad. Sometimes they’ll speed by and look over at me and you know what I do? I don’t wave. I just keep on going. Please, don’t get me started on Kawasaki guys. Ninjas? What are you, twelve years old? Team Green my ass. I never wave at Kawasaki guys.
I ride a Honda, and I’ll only wave at Honda guys, but even then, I’ll never wave at a guy in full leathers. Never, never, never. Yeah, like you’re going to get your knee down on the New York Thruway. Nice crotch, by the way. Guys in full leathers will never get a wave from me, and by the way, neither will the guys in two-piece leathers. And I’ll tell you who else I’m not waving at?those guys with the helmets with the loud paintjobs. Four pounds of paint on a two pound helmet? like I’m going to wave back to that! I’ll also never wave at someone with a mirrored visor. Or helmet stickers. Or racing gloves. Or hiking boots.
To me, motorcycling is a like a family, a close-knit brotherhood of people who ride Hondas, wear jeans and a leather jacket (not Vanson) with regular gloves and a solid-color helmet with a clear visor, no stickers, no racing gloves and regular boots (not Timberlands). And isn’t that what really makes riding so special?”
by Jim Armstrong
–from A. Friedman
Where’s Hal Robinson
I thought you said you started with “easy rider magazine”? so could you do a feature article on their fantastic early artist known to me only as “robinson”..?
don’t know if you knew him or not or what your relationship was with him? I think he is deceased because I never see any of his work anymore, but what a talent… I know a lot of scooter tramps out there really dug his work… just a thought..
–w.b.bones
scooterville,u.s.a.
wbbones@yahoo.com
I knew Hal Robinson from the beginning. He could draw a motorcycle like no man on the planet. He loved women, wine and to draw. I’ll look into a feature on Hal.
Victory Rides Daytona International Speedway
A group of Victory motorcycle riders got an unforgettable, up-close look at the legendary Daytona International Speedway when they took a Victory Parade Lap around the racetrack during Biketoberfest 2003 in Daytona Beach, Florida.
Victory Riders Association (VRA) members took nearly two full laps around the 2.5-mile tri-oval where the greatest names in stock car racing ? Petty, Earnhardt, Allison, Yarborough and more ? won races and earned fame. The Victory riders then turned into the track?s infield road course for a few tight turns before parking their bikes and posing for photos in Victory Lane. They had lunch in the Daytona USA interactive experience center, then enjoyed a Victory Ride around the Daytona Beach area. The Victory Ride was led by Matt Barwick, the volunteer VRA Ride Coordinator for Central Florida.
?We wanted to provide VRA members with a special and memorable experience, and the Victory Parade Lap at Daytona is something I?m sure these riders will never forget,? said Victory Marketing Specialist Kris Jarland. ?We?re grateful to the Speedway officials who made this opportunity possible, and we?re glad so many VRA members got to take part.?
Speedway security officers led the Victory riders on the laps around the famous racetrack. The VRA riders rode through a gate near the third turn onto the racing surface, took a full lap (riding on the flat apron at the bottom of the track) and continued around past the start-finish line to reach the left-hand turn into the infield road course. They carved through several turns on the infield track where legendary motorcycles events such as the Daytona 200 are contested, then celebrated their on-track experience in Victory Lane.
Victory also had product displays and offered demo rides on 2004 models at Biketoberfest. Motorcycle enthusiasts test-rode the award-winning Victory Vegas?, the all-new Kingpin and the Touring Cruiser on a 20-minute demo route around Daytona International Airport. The demo rides are led by Motorcycle Safety Foundation instructors contracted by Victory.
Biketoberfest was the first event at which riders got to test ride the new 2004 Kingpin, and they were impressed by its smooth ride, easy handling and outstanding Freedom? V-twin power. Victory will return to Daytona for Bike Week 2004 with product displays and demo rides ? and perhaps another unforgettable riding experience for VRA members.
Bikernet Correspondent, Bob T., aboard his new blacked out dresser. That’s three Bikernet staff members aboard 2003 touring bikes. The other shot is Bob in the ’70s on his trusty Panhead.
Agreement in Iraq!
A squad of Marines drove up the highway between Basra and Baghdad. They came upon an Iraqi soldier badly injured and unconscious. Nearby on the opposite side of the road was an American Marine in a similar state, but he was alert. As first aid was given to both men, they asked the injured Marine what happened.
The Marine responded “I was heavily armed and moving north along the highway. Coming south was a heavily armed Iraqi soldier”.
“What happened then?” the corpsman asked.
“I told him Saddam Hussein was a miserable piece of crap and then the Iraqi told me that Tom Daschle, Ted Kennedy and Bill Clinton were miserable pieces of crap!”
“What happened then?” the corpsman asked.
“We were shaking hands when a truck hit us.”
–from Bob T.
IN MEMORY OF MY FRIEND
Larry M. Cleveland Nov. 16 1947 Oct. 23 1969 US Army Vietnam Corporal / Specialist Four Helicopter noncrew 101st Airborne Division Panel : 17W Line 107 His tour of duty began on Jan 12, 1969 Casualty was on Oct 23, 1969 in QUANG TRI, SOUTH VIETNAM . Home LONG BEACH, CA. Born November 16, 1947 Roman Catholic.
Did you know that you can post a memorial on Bikernet whenever the need arises. It’s there when the time calls and it’s free.
from Bob T.
A Classy Lady
3/66 First tour of performing in Vietnam. 12/22/68 Goes with Bob Hope Show for second tour of Vietnam There is Justice: Ann-Margret and the Vietnam Vet.
Richard never really talked a lot about his time in Vietnam other than he had been shot by a sniper. However, he had a rather grainy, 8 x 10 black & white photo he had taken at a USO show of Ann-Margret with Bob Hope in the background that was one of his treasures.
A few years ago, Ann- Margret was doing a book signing at a local bookstore. Richard wanted to see if he could get her to sign the treasured photo, so he arrived at the bookstore at 12 o’clock for the 7:30 signing. When I got there after work, the line went all the way around the bookstore, circled the parking lot, and disappeared behind a parking garage.
Before her appearance, bookstore employees announced that she would sign only her book and no memorabilia would be permitted. Richard was disappointed, but wanted to show her the photo and let her know how much those shows meant to lonely GI’s so far from home.
Ann-Margret came out looking as beautiful as ever and, as 2nd in line, it was soon Richard’s turn. He presented the book for her signature and then took out the photo. When he did, there were many shouts from the employees that she would not sign it. Richard said, “I understand. I just wanted her to see it.”
She took one look at the photo, tears welled up in her eyes and she said, “This is one of my gentlemen from Vietnam and I most certainly will sign his photo. I know what these men did for their country and I always have time for “my gentlemen.” With that, she pulled Richard across the table and planted a big kiss on him. She then made quite a to do about the bravery of the young men she met over the years, how much she admired them, and how much she appreciated them.
There weren’t too many dry eyes among those close enough to hear. She then posed for pictures and acted as if he was the only one there.
Later at dinner, Richard was very quiet. When I asked if he’d like to talk about it, my big strong husband broke down in tears. “That’s the first time anyone ever thanked me for my time in the Army,” he said.
Have things got you down? Are you having a bad day?
The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez Oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.
Still think you’re having a bad day? Two animal rights defenders were protesting the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany. Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly. The two hopeless protesters were trampled to death.
Still think you are having a bad day? A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.
What? Still having a bad day???? Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn’t pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with “return to sender”stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.
There now, are you feeling better?
–from Jay Hodge
BUTT SURGERY
A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks.
The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.
After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman’s new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty!
One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, “Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?”
“My darling,” he replied, “I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.”
–from Bob T.
CITY COP
There was a city cop on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little boy on his new shiny bike stopped beside him.
“Nice bike,” the cop said “Did Santa bring it to you?”
“Yep,” the little boy said, “He sure did!”
The cop looked the bike over and handed the boy a $20 ticket for a safety violation. The cop said, “Next year tell Santa to put a reflector light on the back of it.”
The young boy looked up at the cop and said “Nice horse you got there sir, did Santa bring it to you?”
“Yes, he sure did,” chuckled the cop.
The little boy looked up at the cop and said, “Next year tell Santa the dick goes underneath the horse not on top.”
–from Jay Hodge
Back To Bikernet Medical Facility
An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset. Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he figured that the latest episode was just that, so he stayed put. Suddenly, however, he filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational.
In a complete loss of composure, he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.
A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him.
The drunk started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently, in an attempt to free himself of the sheets. He ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet.
As the drunk stood there, staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard who had witnessed the entire incident, walked up to him and asked, “What the heck is going on?”
The drunk, still staring down at the sheets, replied, “I think I just beat the shit out of a ghost.”
HAPPY Belated HALLOWEEN!
–from Jay Hodge
Pre-Love Ride Party
Join California Harley-Davidson, “California’s friendliest Harley-Davidson Dealership,” for a pre-“LOVE RIDE” party on Saturday, November 8th.
We’ll have a FREE barbecue from 11am-4pm, and you can enjoy great music from Terri & The T-Bones from 11am-3pm.
Get ready for Love Ride XX, and have a heck of a good time!
It’s all happening at California Harley-Davidson, 1517 Pacific Coast Highway, Harbor City.
Bikernet Political Alert
Donald Rumsfeld died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St.Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.
He asked, “What are all those clocks?”
St. Peter answered, “Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move.”
Oh,” said Rumsfeld, “whose clock is that?”
That’s Mother Teresa’s. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.”
“Incredible,” said Rumsfeld. “And whose clock is that one?”
St. Peter responded, “That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life.”
“Where’s Bush’s clock?” asked Rumsfeld.
“Bush’s clock is in Jesus’ office. He’s using it as a ceiling fan.”
–from Joan C.
HARLEY-DAVIDSON? MOTORCLOTHES? GLOVES HAVE A GRIP ON COMFORT
Enthusiasts will surely give a round of applause to the comfort and function found in Harley-Davidson MotorClothes Apparel’s Core line. Riders can slip their hands into a variety of new gloves added to the 2004 collection.
Both men and women will grip the clutch and open the throttle with assurance wearing the latest FXRG? gloves available in leather (Unisex Part: 97124-02V, MSRP $85) or nylon (Unisex Part: 97147-02V, MSRP $65). The Full-Finger Riding Gloves feature Primaloft? warmth lining to reduce the chill and Gore-Tex? lining to help lock out the elements. A gel-padded palm with anti-slip grip improves riders’ hold on the handlebars. Envelope knuckles add mobility by offering riders pockets of extra material across the top of the hand. Articulated thumbs increase enthusiast’s comfort and a convenient windshield wiper on the left thumb helps to clear away moisture on the rider’s helmet shield. The double cuff closure system found at each wrist is accented with a FXRG rubberized logo.
Male and female riders will give a thumbs up to the leather Highway Full-Finger Gloves (Men’s Part: 98831-03VM, MSRP $69; Women’s Part: 98832-03VW, MSRP $69) with waterproof inner liner. Featuring pre-curved fingers and padded palms, these gloves will help riders go the distance. The adjustable Velcro? closure system allows riders to make adjustments quickly and an ergonomic thumb increases mobility. The gloves are embossed with signature H-D and Bar & Shield graphics.
Ladies can enjoy the freedom of the open road sporting the Fringe Full-Finger Gloves (Women’s Part: 98833-03VW, MSRP $49). These lined leather gloves offer pre-curved fingers, thumb-mobility system, gel-padded palms and an elastic closure system for added comfort. Fringe leather trimming and a H-D medallion placed tastefully at the wrist adds classic biker attitude. For a unique look, female riders can match the gloves with other items from the fringe leather collection.
Enthusiasts can check out these new Core items at authorized Harley-Davidson Dealerships nationwide. Call 1.800.LUV.2RIDE or visit www.harley-davidson.com to find the closest dealership.
Texas Halloween madness with Rigid Frame Richard.
The Saturday Night Sunday Post–I’m outta here. It’s about time I bought a decent pair of riding gloves. I usually wear hardware store deer-skin work gloves, unless it’s freezing.
It’s almost 9:00 p.m. and the night is young, the women are still acting strange from Halloween and the Sunday Post is complete. Goddamnit, let’s party.
Keep an eye on the site next week: We’re featuring two Biketoberfest reports (Frank Kaisler and CrazyHorse), The Wild Women from Richard’s Texas Halloween Biker Party and I may have a report on the shrunken FXR. Oh, shit, two hot bike features are coming and more fiction. Hang on.
It’s Sunday, let’s ride.
–Bandit
