The first weekend of the playoff are rocking the screen. I don’t watch much television or football, except Monday night games and the playoffs.
It looks as though we’re moving the headquarters to a larger facility in stinky part of town. I can’t wait to share a shot of this hovel with you. Hang on.
The chrome is ready for the Shrunken FXR. The paint’s completed, the frame painted and powder coating in Dallas. We’re getting ready to rock. Let’s hit the news:
Sunday Legal Advice
Here is why lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a small Texas town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand, a grandmotherly, elderly woman.
He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?
She responded, “Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.” The lawyer was stunned.
Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?”
She again replied, “Why yes, I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He’s lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. Yes, I know him.”
The defense attorney almost died!
At this point, the judge brought the court room to silence, called both counselors to the bench, and in a very quiet voice, said, “If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me, you’ll be jailed for contempt.”
–from Chris T
First 300 In Steed Muscle Bike
We’ll be riding the first Steed 300 Monoglide within a week! Powerhouse 114″ Musclebike motor with 130 ft.lbs. Torque, 135 Horsepower to the rear wheel, RSD Baker 6 speed…This bike is going to ROCK! RETAIL UNDER $40k…on the road.
I’ll keep you posted…….
Mile High Couple Exposed in Flight
A RANDY couple on a holiday jet were cheered by 250 passengers ? when they were exposed bonking in the loo.
The lovers sneaked into a tiny cubicle during a four-hour flight home from Tenerife.
When the 757?s cabin crew noticed it had been engaged for more than 15 minutes, a steward went to investigate.
After hearing grunts and groans through the door, he decided to unlock it from the outside ? and revealed the naked couple in mid-romp.
One passenger by the loo said: ?There was a woman facing the wall and her companion standing behind with his trousers round his ankles.
?When they realised someone had opened the door, they just froze.
?And when it dawned on them that half the aeroplane was watching, their faces went beetroot red.
There were at least 60 of us in stitches. Even the three cabin staff burst out laughing.?
The couple ? in their late thirties ? then got a round of applause as they made their way back to their seats.
The eyewitness added: ?The journey from then on must have felt like the longest flight of their lives.?
And as they stepped off the flight the woman said ?happy Christmas? to a crew member. But one wag passenger at the back shouted, ?I think you?ve already had your stuffing!?
The incident happened on Thomas Cook flight TCX18L to Gatwick, which landed at 7.30pm last Tuesday.
The man had Beckham-style blond hair and wore a white jumper and blue jeans. His companion had bleach-blonde hair and was in a dark outfit.
Last night Thomas Cook said: ?There was an incident with a couple in the toilet. They appear to have taken the Christmas spirit too far.?
DO you know who the mystery couple were on flight TCX18L? If so, let us know.
–from Rogue
Brother Wanted
HEY BANDIT….THIS FLICK WAS IN A ISSUE OF IN THE WIND A FEW YEARS BACK…..LIKE THE 80’S …. THIS IS MY BROTHER PAT. A.K.A. THE APE… ANYWAY YOU CAN HELP ME FIND HIM? ITS BEEN 24 YEARS SINCE I’VE SEEN HIM…
–LATER
–SKOOTER
sandc@rushmore.com
New Police Interrogating Method
SIX Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message “He’s lying” was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect hasn’t telling the truth.
Believing the “lie detector” was working, the suspect confessed.
“Life is tough. But, it’s tougher if you’re stupid.”
–Rogue
Smoke Out Dates Released
The Smoke-Out is June 25-26(Fri.+Sat.) in Salsibury N.C. at the Rowan County Fairgrounds. You can buy your tickets on line at www.thehorsemsg.com.
Don’t miss it! See you there!
Later!
–Stealth
The Future
Ordering Pizza in 2015 (Humor)
Operator: “Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your…”
Customer: “Hi, I’d like to order.”
Operator: “May I have your NIDN first, sir?”
Customer: “My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it’s 6102049998-45-54610.”
Operator: “Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number’s 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number’s 266-2566. Which number are you calling from, sir?”
Customer: “Huh? I’m at home. Where d’ya get all this information?”
Operator: “We’re wired into the system, sir.”
Customer: (Sighs) “Oh, well, I’d like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas…”
Operator: “I don’t think that’s a good idea, sir.”
Customer: “Whaddya mean?”
Operator: “Sir, your medical records indicate that you’ve got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won’t allow such an unhealthy choice.”
Customer: “Dang . What do you recommend, then?”
Operator: “You might try our low-fat Soybean Yogurt Pizza. I’m sure you’ll like it.”
Customer: “What makes you think I’d like something like that?”
Operator: “Well, you checked out ‘Gourmet Soybean Recipes’ from your local library last week, sir. That’s why I made the suggestion.”
Customer: “All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then. What’s the damage?”
Operator: “That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, sir. The ‘damage,’ as you put it, heh, heh, comes to $49.99.”
Customer: “Lemme give you my credit card number.”
Operator: “I’m sorry sir, but I’m afraid you’ll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit.”
Customer: “I’ll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here.”
Operator: “That won’t work either, sir. Your checking account’s overdrawn.”
Customer: “Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I’ll have the cash ready. How long will it take?
Operator: “We’re running a little behind, sir. It’ll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you’re in a hurry you might want to pick ’em up while you’re out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward.”
Customer: “How the heck do you know I’m riding a bike?”
Operator: “It says here you’re in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo’ed. But your Harley’s paid up, so I just assumed that you’d be using it.”
Customer: “@#%/$@&?#!”
Operator: “I’d advise watching your language, sir. You’ve already got a July 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop.”
Customer: (Speechless)
Operator: “Will there be anything else, sir?”
Customer: “No, nothing. Oh, yeah, don’t forget the two free liters of Coke your ad says I get with the pizzas.”
Operator: “I’m sorry sir, but our ad’s exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics.”
–from from W2knews.com, and Terry G.
The Missing Caribbean Report
First and foremost Happy New Year to everyone !!!! 2004 promises to be even better, as always we leave the year with bittersweet memories, yeap, some really shitty stuff did happen to many of us, but really good things as well. So we tend to fixate on the shitty ones, when we actually should be thankful for the great ones. I can only say that it’s been a very good year for me, even with the downsides, we always manage to get up and dust it off, keep on going, and deal with it. I am lucky to have so many friends, people who trust and respect me, a family that cares and is by my side every single step of the way and last but not least all of you, my extended family (even those who hate my guts) who week after week, year after year, allow me to jump into their daily lives.
We are not as lucky as a hundred dollar bill, to be liked by everyone, but what the hell, but I still wish everyone well. I dare to say (and I guess I said the same last year) 2003 has been an amazing year. We all have grown in leaps and bounds, the industry, our companies and the chopper world in itself. I can only wonder what will happen this year…
There’s so many moments that were so way fucking cool this year, that I can’t mention them all, but if you have read my 52 posts you might have a slight notion, since the report has become a sort of diary of whatever I manage to do or accomplish. This might sound like a fucking Oscar winning speech, but I want to thank God, or whatever god you might choose, for everything, for simply keeping us alive and directing us on the paths that we walk thru, for giving us the health and abilities we need to follow our codes.
As you all know by now, we are up to our ears in work and the new shop, but instead of bitching I’m happy that we are able to do it all, to keep growing while refusing to get old, to keep playing with our beloved toys (our choppers) and to be able to enjoy the beauty of a kick ass babe. I really do wish that life was a simple as I’m trying to express now, or maybe in a very wicked sense it is, it’s just us who make it more difficult.
And I guess, with that, I’ll leave you guys until next week. I certainly want to toast all our friends and readers, for the many places I’ve visited this passing year. Look at the sun and enjoy this bittersweet roller coaster ride we call LIFE.
Once more I wish the best for 2004 to everyone !!!!
–Jose, last and first Caribbean Bikernet report 2003-2004
— Visit our Web Site http://www.chopperfreak.com
Bad Cop Investigation Continues
Cop retires instead of facing inquiry over son murder case Massachusetts – Family members of Lori Corbett, 26, said they were outraged that the officer, Raymond Beals Jr., announced Monday he would retire after 26 years on the force. The announcement means Beals will not face discipline for his response to the police call that preceded Corbett?s stabbing last month.
“He took that oath to protect and serve, and he didn?t protect her,” Corinne Sirianni, Corbett?s sister, told reporters.
Beals said “things have been taken care of.”
“I?m out of the business. Just give me a break,” he said.
Three days before the killing, Lori Corbett?s mother Gail had called 911 and reported to Beverly police that Jason Beals was refusing to leave her home.
The dispatcher was Jason?s father, Raymond Beals Jr., a 26-year department veteran.
Instead of dispatching a cruiser, Raymond Beals answered the call himself, despite the department?s policy not to respond to domestic calls alone. He also went despite an unwritten rule to avoid answering calls involving family or friends.
Beals, 63, escorted his 34-year-old son out of the house, but never logged the call, according to Beverly officials. He also never told the Corbetts that they could file an emergency restraining order, Gail Corbett said.
Then, on Dec. 1, Jason Beals stabbed Lori Corbett 15 times as she lay in her bed in her room. Beals then stabbed himself fatally.
On Monday, Beals announced his retirement. The decision allows him to avoid a disciplinary hearing scheduled for Jan. 9.
He will collect a nearly $41,000 annual pension with health benefits.
Because he will not be an employee of the Police Department on Jan. 9, there is no disciplinary action the department can take, Solicitor Peter Gilmore said.
Mayor Thomas Crean said the resignation made sense. “He?s not going to be an officer anymore,” Crean said. “I think it?s the most appropriate thing that could have happened.”
–from Rogue
The Rigid Frame Report
Happy New Year! How is everyone? Me, I am moving a little slow today. I saw the photos of the Panhead from Lucky Devil in today’s news section. Hell even when I don’t send the pictures I am still part of em. You can see my boot in one image. I arrived at Lucky Devil about 11:00 that morning & got to meet Kent’s lovely wife, Holly. It was her first day working at the shop. Then I was invited to lunch with them and another friend Hammer, who is in line to get a kick ass bike built.
The long Softail was out getting painted. Did they send you one of the images we took of the black pan with the reflection? I will attach one.
Kent was working to finish the other Panhead for the customer to pick up that evening. It was 2 am when we started taking pictures and 4 am before Kent & I left the shop. We had to have a beverage you know. I kind of felt bad because we messed around for about an hour doing the pictures of the black bike. So I figured if nothing else I could hand him tools, plus it is so kick ass to be in a place were if you need a part like front axle spacers you just make them. It was a good day got to meet some of the folks that are getting work done at the shop.
Mike the guy that owns the Panhead in the news section is also the current owner of Blue Flame too! Small world
Still have not gotten to meet Eric he was gone for the holidays. All of their vehicles but one I believe now sport a Bikernet sticker.
Hope everyone is well and kicking ass in 2004!
–RFR
17th ANNUAL DONNIE SMITH INVITATIONAL
Much more than just another custom show, the DONNIE SMITH INVITATIONAL has become one of the most prestigious and anticipated motorcycle events in the country. And this year’s Invitational is on track to be a real mind blower.
Thanks to world wide media exposure and an exceptionally professional and well thought out presentation, the event has grown in attendance and stature to the point that this years get together has been extended to 2 full days. That’s 2 days for enthusiasts and the merely curious to experience the finest in custom machines while rubbing elbows with world famous builders, designers and manufacturers.
Attendees will be treated to a huge, 40,000 sq ft motorcycle swap meet and an extensive vendor’s row featuring over 300 booths. DRAG SPECIALTIES, BIKER’S CHOICE, J&P CYCLE, LEGENDS AIR SUSPENSION, HOUSE OF COLOR and other industry leaders will display the latest in custom and restoration hardware, and provide on site technical assistance. Additionally, if you ever wanted to quiz industry giants like Dave Perewitz and Donnie Smith on their styling techniques, building secrets and thoughts on where the industry is headed, here’s your chance.
Need more? A huge collection of door prizes, catalogs, CDs, magazines and exclusive dealer and manufacturer presentations are just a few show features you can expect. Most importantly visitors will be treated to over 200,000 sq ft of mild to wild displays packed with the most unique and highest quality custom, high performance and antique motorcycles ever assembled under one roof. This wide variety of machines encompassing 42 classes, including a spectacular Pro Class, will be competing for both cash and trophy awards.
Hosted by Master Builder Donnie Smith and Neill Ryan of American Thunder Promotions, the DONNIE SMITH INVITATIONAL has become a “must attend” for domestic and international motorcycling press, private and professional builders and major manufacturers. The 17th running of this highly acclaimed event will be held Saturday and Sunday, March 27-28, 2004, in the spectacular St. Paul River Center at the Touchstone Energy Center in St. Paul, Minnesota. This full service, contemporary setting is just minutes for the Minneapolis/St. Paul International Airport and surrounded by accommodations to meet any taste.
The DONNIE SMITH INVITATIONAL is indeed a very special event and one you don’t want to miss. Bring your friends and family and enjoy a weekend of fine motorcycles, the latest in custom accessories, entertainment and good times. Tickets are available at the show for just $10.00 a day! For additional information including space reservation, contact American Thunder Promotions at 952-226-1180.
PlayOff Madness Continues–Greenbay is tied with Seattle and I’m not done with the news yet. I’m outta here. The Easyriders show rocked Pomona yesterday and reports are flooding in.
I couldn’t make. Forced into a real estate walk-through of the new property, I was indisposed. Harold Ponterelli delivered the sheet metal for the Shrunken FXR and the chromer called while we ate fajitas on the harbor.
The sun’s out, it’s gonna be a helluva year. Let’s ride to the beach.
–Bandit
