Life is nuts and moving too fast. But there’s good shit on the horizon. Of course a taste of the winter pressure are these bullshit holidays. Christmas is next weekend, the kids are packing the Bikernet Christmas cards to 200 of our closest friends, and Sinwu and I have attempted a Christmas list severals times. One night we draw a blank and mutter something about, “Oh they’re covered.” The next night we’re up till dawn scrawling a list a mile long. The next morning we wake up hung over, look at our bank account and cringe.
Speaking of Bank accounts, we have a test plan in the works to charge $5.00 for Cantina memberships. The thought came from Agent Zebra during a drunken marketing meeting at the seniors Alpin Village. We were surrounded by the walking dead swaying to a balding Hawaiian shirted, live band playing Christmas carols. I thought for sure I had slipped into the Twilight Zone.
We discussed sponsorship sales on Bikernet to pay the bills and how most business heads in the industry don’t have time to blink, or make keen marketing or advertising decisions. So we struggle to get folks to listen. Besides they’re hit daily with magazine ad sales guys. We’re cheaper, have a lot more readers, deliver more editorial that lasts, but they don’t have time for us.
So turn the shiny new penny over and see what’s on the other side. Let’s hit the news then I’ll spring the rest of the whiskey soaked thought process on you.
Dear Santa Bandit
Never in my whole life have I ever been so keen on my dreams being THE priority in my life. For all these years since you’ve known me I have been on the diligent chase to realize them.
Since I was a kid, I was into music and film and books. Did some commericals, musicals, etc. Wrote lots of short stories.
Then hooked up with my music producer/engineer boyfriend and we were totally immersed in music. Then he got famous and left. Then I just worked and worked to make ends meet, surviving. NO college degree, just climbing the music biz ladder. Dreams on the back burner entertained oh so little.
Then I decided to make motorcycles my passion for everything. It was the only thing that was timeless. I fell in love with the first scooter at nine years old. The motorcycle was the *vehicle* to bring all my dreams to life.
Finally, I got the courage to do something about it and my first outreach was to the top. You. And you accepted the call. You encouraged me all along and never pushed me away no matter how busy. Because of you, I was able to continue to take those steps.
Now all the dreams that I had from a kid, the film, the music, even the literary projects are all coming to fruitition because I rolled in my insatiable love for motorcycles. It’s been a long, hard road. I’ve sacrificed plenty. I’ve sacrificed to the death of questions.
*So now, I feel like I’m on the eve of it finally happening, you know? The music, the books, the films — my dreams are on the verge of actually becoming my living reality. But still I drift on the cloud of unknowing, clinging to faith, holding hands with hope and praying everyday.
It’s still real scary. I have about two hundred bucks to my name. A burning desire to succeed and make the world take notice of some really important and encouraging things like never giving up, like saddling up and chasing your dreams, like a bunch of inspirations. There’s no reason to do anything if it’s not going to enlighten folks and make them feel better and feel wonderful.
Anyway, as you know, I just stayed on in California. Never got on the plane back to NYC. I felt that the dream would be choked off if I did that because then I am immersed in that tough energy of survival, do or die, but not the dream so much as focusing on ends meet. Believe it or not, my resources in NYC to facilitate my dreams coming true are quite slim.
I write this letter to you, to thank you again, for the encouragement, for realizing how much it all means to me. Still, I have my little Sportster that I’ll never sell. She has been the resource of all resources. She has ridden me right into my dreams and now they are on the verge of coming true.
With love,
Sasha
If that’s not an inspirational message, I don’t know what is. We’re bikers. We don’t except the norm, but keep pushing for the dream. She’s about to launch another book project, reality show and music effort. We’ll always report on her progress.–Bandit
Photo from Rogue
Here’s a cool idea:
Get some Metal/Rock or other celebrity Bikes together for Daytona Bikeweek 2005. I will be there with my bike,the Met-Ster. (Metallica Bike) I already found the Iron Maiden bike, Sully from Godsmack’s Bike, Ozzy’s Chopper and Vince Neil’s Chopper (ex Motley Crue).
Links to these bikes are at the bottom of the Met-Ster page. (
I will try to contact some magazines to get a ‘Metal Bike Family Shot’, but most important to me personally I’d like to have a pic like this just for me to hang above my bed !! J
Hell, why not make a HeadBangers party of it.
JimmyHBS
http://www.hbs.be/>www.hbs.be
Prickly Pear Cactus Offers Hope for the Hungover
New Orleans, LA – If a hangover is holding you back from another heavy night of drinking, the prickly pear cactus may be your answer.
A study with 55 subjects ranging from 21-35 years of age, conducted by Tulane Health Sciences Center in New Orleans, discovered that extracts from the cactus may dramatically reduce the common hangover.
Half the study subjects were given extracts of Opuniea ficus indica (a type of the prickly pear cactus) and the other half were given a placebo, then encouraged to get drunk on one of an array of alcohols, including bourbon, scotch, rum, vodka, gin, and tequila.
The following morning the subjects who received the extract reported milder hangovers than those receiving the placebo.
Researchers says the extract works by reducing levels of C-reactive proteins by 40 percent. C-reactive proteins are produced by the liver while converting alcohol to blood sugar and are thought to be partly responsible for hangovers.
A commercial versions of the hangover remedy, in the form of pills reinforced with B vitamins, will soon be available to consumers.
Break Out Merely a Beer Run
Rogersville, TN – Four inmates who escaped when their cells were accidentally left unlocked didn’t break for the border. They headed for the liquor store.
After purchasing four cases of beer, the inmates snuck back into Hawkins County Jail through an emergency exit they had propped open with a Bible before they left.
“I guess they thought if they came back they wouldn’t be charged with escape, but they were wrong,” local Sheriff Warren Rimer said.
Ridgy Dean Coleman, Jimmy Joe Stapleton, David Wayne Blizzard and David Allen Hopkins were charged with escape and introduction of intoxicants into a penal institution.
“At least they came back,” Rimer added.
Man Loses Driver’s Licence After Doctors Rats Him Out to the Man
Harrisburg, PA – A man who told his doctors that he drinks a six-pack of beer per day is now fighting to get his driver’s license back.
After Keith Emerich, 44, revealed his perfectly legal drinking habit, the physicians reported him to the Pennsylvania’s Department of Transportation who decided that was enough reason to revoke his licence. Emerich stated that he never drinks and drives.
A state law enacted in the 1960s requires doctors to report any physical or mental impairments that could compromise a patient’s ability to drive safely. Emerich received a notice from the Pennsylvania Department of Transportation in April that his license was being revoked effective May 6 for medical reasons related to substance abuse. The law requires revocation of the license until the driver can prove he is competent to drive.
–from Rogue
Steed Bobber Report
I sold the 300 Bobber bike today, and it’s going to a dealer in El Paso on Tuesday, so I’m glad that you decided that you wanted it for Street Chopper in time for me to re-shoot it with a new chick. You let me know just in time to get me to work on Sunday shooting scantily clad floozies.
Hopefully she looks better than the last tattooed chick I tried with this bike. I posted all the studio shots up on my “Steed Motorcycle” page www.musclebikes.com so you can see what will be headed your way if you want to take the time to check them out.
–John Covington
Steed Bobber Report Continued
My pimp hand is strong. Six hours and I found a girl to shoot with it tomorrow. I will get the model releases for the new girl. The chicks are asking what Hot Bike/Street Chopper pays if you use them. Even if it’s gratis, I need to know because they’re all about the frog pelts. You never know until you get them behind the lens what they’re going to do, or look like. Cross your fingers. The Bree’s are tough to find. I’ll do some riding shots on Monday.
–John
103-Inch Classic Pan Custom
Bandit, I was asking a few months ago about stainless exhaust flange bolts going into the aluminum heads on this Pan I’ve built. You might recall being amazed at my ignorance as Pans have slip on clamps for the exhaust…that is until I corrected myself and told you this thing had STD heads.
Anyway, you asked me to send photos when I was done. Here are two. I think it’s pretty cool and what a beast!
–Mike Reida
Des Moines, IA
Santa vs H.B.P.D.
Santa took a ride one day, a cruise to Huntington Beach.
For girls and boys, he packed some toys,
A couple gifts for each.
He throttled down the PCH, he revved his engine proud.
He checked his mirrors, and worst of fears,
Red and blinkies screamin’ loud.
A motorcop with attitude, and pants a size too small.
A beanie rap, some loud pipes crap,
And a fine for apes too tall.
Old Santa didn’t check the web, before he took his scoot.
He shoulda known, what Splatt’s had shown,
H.B. can cost ya’ loot.
So Santa fought the ticket, and eventually he won.
9th Circuit judge still holds a grudge,
We’ll sue the Chief for fun.
And Santa, he’s much better now, the elves say he was pissed.
The cops play games, but now their names,
Are on Santa’s NAUGHTY list.
Don’t get caught red on the sled, share your tickets and save the bread!
Happy Holidaze from Splatt’s Motorcycle Citation Database!
http://www.bikernation.us
I know A lot of Club folk that will like seein this!!!!
Officer takes plea agreement
STURGIS – Suspended Sturgis police officer Bryan Rask has pleaded guilty to one count of misdemeanor sexual contact in a case that was originally charged as second-degree rape.
South Dakota deputy attorney general Bob Mayer of Pierre said Thursday that Rask could face a maximum penalty of one year in jail and a $1,000 fine in accepting the plea arrangement. Sentencing has been set for 10 a.m. Jan. 31 at Meade County Courthouse in Sturgis, after a pre-sentencing investigation report.
–from Scooter
National ID May Be In The Cards
WASHINGTON – Privacy advocates worry that provisions buried in the intelligence bill President Bush is to sign Friday will lead to a national identification card.
Little-noted measures included in the legislation that reshuffles intelligence agencies order states to begin issuing new fraud-proof birth certificates, and new driver’s licenses with standardized data encoded on them are set for 2006.
The legislation also orders states to stop putting Social Security numbers on licenses.
What data will be included on licenses and how it will be used in federal databanks is not yet clear. The legislation only requires the data to be “machine readable,” leaving the issue of what data to collect to the Department of Transportation and the Department of Homeland Security. Regulations concerning fraud-proofing birth certificates are to be drafted by the Department of Heath and Human Services.
“There’s a problem,” said Marc Rotenberg, a Georgetown University law professor who serves as executive director of the Electronic Privacy Information Center, a Washington think tank.
“There are two directions they can go here. One is to reduce the likelihood of fraud and counterfeiting of driver’s licenses, which we all would applaud. Or they could link this all together in a new national database, which is what they should not do.”
Rotenberg called the measure “not quite half a step towards a national identification card” because its full impact has not yet been determined.
The bill, which Congress adopted earlier this month after stripping out controversial immigration provisions, carries out key recommendations of the 9/11 Commission, including establishing standards for birth certificates and driver’s licenses.
But James Plummer of the Privacy Rights Clearinghouse noted that all but one of the 19 hijackers on 9/11 had valid American identification – including driver’s licenses – and that the changes Congress has ordered wouldn’t prevent terrorists from obtaining the new and more secure documents.
“This is a bunch of troubling language,” said Plummer. “I don’t think this solves the issue at all.”
Plummer said he’s concerned that the measure, for the first time, sets federal standards on documents like birth certificates and driver’s licenses that traditionally have been matters for states to decide.
The legislation states that within two years, U.S. government employees won’t accept any driver’s licenses or birth certificates issued by the states that don’t comply with the new fraud-proof requirements. That means drivers from states that don’t comply with the new requirements will be unable to use their state licenses as identification to get past federal airport screeners and board an aircraft.
“It’s definitely crossing over into a national ID system, something this country hasn’t seen before and something that was more a feature of Eastern European systems during the Cold War,” he said.
–from Rogue
http://www.bikerrogue.com
Will you accept a national ID card?
“Under the law of nature, all men are born free, every one comes into the world with a right to his own person, which includes the liberty of moving and using it at his own will. This is what is called personal liberty, and is given him by the Author of nature, because necessary for his own sustenance.”
— Thomas Jefferson: Legal Argument, 1770. FE 1:376
Last week another gigantic step was taken toward the Sovietization of America. The so-called “Intelligence Reform” bill was passed by the Republican-controlled Congress. I feel confident in saying that 95 percent of Congress didn’t bother to read this 3,000 page tome except the portions that guarantee pork to their big donors.
Beginning in 2005, the Department of Homeland Security, overriding the sovereignty of the states, will issue all driver’s licenses and birth certificates that meet some “federalized standards” including biometric “security” provisions. Contrary to existing law, newborns will be automatically issued a Social Security number, which would force them into the federal taxing scheme called Social Security. All children will be denied enrollment in the government indoctrination centers (schools) without first supplying a Homeland Security registered birth certificate. If this doesn’t chill you, it should.
America needs courage and leadership. Congress needs to hear from millions of Americans who tell them unequivocally that they will not accept a national identification card or driver’s license. Our Founding Fathers and the thousands who fought the other King George for our freedom and independence spilled real blood by the thousands of gallons on the battlefield. I will not shame such a legacy or the memory of all who went before me just because the path ahead is a difficult one.
Too many will cower while they get fitted with their chains. I won’t be one of them.
–from Rogue
I received the following from Santa. Thought I would pass it on to you. I Hope You Have a GREAT GHRISTMAS and NEW YEAR
–ROGUE
I have been watching you very closely to see if you have been good this year and since you have I will be telling my elves to make some goodies for me to leave under your tree at Christmas. I was going to bring you all gifts from the 12 days of Christmas, but we had a little problem. The 12 fiddlers fiddling have all come down with VD from fiddling with the 10 ladies dancing, the 11 lords leaping have knocked up the 8 maids a-milking, and the 9 pipers piping have been arrested for doing weird things to the 7 swans a-swimming. The 6 geese a-laying, 4 calling birds, 3 French hens, 2 turtle doves and the partridge in a pear tree have me up to my sled runners in bird shit.
On top of all this, Mrs. Claus is going through menopause, the reindeer are in heat, the elves have joined the gay liberation, the golden rings have all been stolen, and some people who can’t read a calendar have scheduled Christmas for the 5th of January.
Maybe next year I will be able to get my shit together and bring you the things you want. This year I suggest you get your ass down to Walmart before everything good is gone.
Sincerely,
Santa 😉
Merry Christmas
Photo by Rigid Frame Richard
Bikernet Reviews April Hot Bike Editorial That’s a fuckin’ great piece! It’s sad though that we live in a time where educated fools make more money than us. I know first hand how to blow holes in their publishing theories. In less than 11-months Tailgate, a poorly distributed bi-monthly outsold their 15-year- old monthly title, Mini-Truckin’ on the newsstands. By the time I left we had bagged Sport Truck’s newsstand sales as well.
The Corps need to sit down, shut-up and hang on… We’ll do the rest… By the way, did you hear about that terrible fire that took out four Starbucks and part of a Range Rover dealership in the North Hollywood area?.. Very sad.
–Krylon John
Ladies & Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, Family & Friends. It is time…it is time for the Midnight Express to ride again!
After several years of off again on again work, untold dollars spent (Adelina is a Saint!) and a totally “out-there” blood, sweat and tears personal effort in modifying and customizing my beloved bike, it is finally, finally finished. Well, ok, it is a well known fact in biker circles that the ‘ride’ is never finished…but let’s just say that it’s finished for now J.
Next year holds the 111 cubic inch Patrick Racing Big Bore Kit, finances and the Lord willing.
I’m a bit exhausted, mentally and otherwise, from the constant, builds and mock-up’s, re-engineering, fabricating, installs, tear downs, welding, part trips, grinding, fitting, chroming, polishing, painting, adjusting, testing and just overall wrenching in a seemingly endless endeavor. I know, I know most people only wish to have such burdens J and it is truly a blessing to have a therapy of this sort. To have such an escape. However, I have at last put the beast on the ground. Back together and whole. Rubber on pavement. The trusted steed started up on the first try! I’m not a mechanic by trade but must have done something right, along the way. I love the results, if I may say so myself, as it all finally came together exactly according to plan, in the style, stance and theme that I was going for and had envisioned all along. And so, I wanted to share it with you.
Motorcycling in the classic sense: -Nothing much like it if you ask me, with the possible exception of a great sea-going vessel. Then again, I’ve had it in my blood since growing up in Sweden and Germany in the late sixties and early seventies. Influenced by three motorcycle crazed older brothers at an early age. Two of whom still ride to this very day. So I had no choice in the matter I suppose J. I just can’t help it. It’s the lifeS Thanks for indulging me. God Bless, and? Ride with the Wind! Andreas The Steed Bobber Report Continues She flaked this morning. My pimp hand isn’t as strong as I thought. I’m losing my power of pimp! Hopefully the stars will line up before the bike ships, and we can get some shots with a wonderful chick. I’ll keep you posted. Sooo….I’m going Christmas shopping, yee ha! –John A System Bereft of Justice While enjoying Christmas, good food and drink with family and friends in the warmth and comfort of your home, take a moment to remember the falsely imprisoned. Think about how your own family would handle the grief, because wrongful imprisonment can happen to you. In a just published book, Thinking About Crime, Michael Tonry, a distinguished American law professor and director of Cambridge University’s Institute of Criminology, reports that the US has the highest percentage of its population in prison of any country on earth. The US incarceration rate is as much as 12 times higher than that of European countries. Unless you believe that Americans are more criminally inclined than other humans, what can explain the US incarceration rate being so far outside the international mainstream? I can think of the following reasons: 1. In order to prove that they are “tough on crime,” politicians have criminalized behavior that is legal elsewhere. 2. Many innocent Americans are in jail. There is enormous evidence backing up both reasons. Professor Tonry notes that during the past three decades the number of Americans in prison has increased 700%. Imprisonment has far outstripped the growth in the population. Subtracting children and the elderly, one in eighty Americans of prison eligible age is locked up. America’s privatized prisons have to be fed with inmates in order to maintain their profitability. Prosecutors need high conviction rates to justify their budgets and to build their careers. Taken together these two facts create powerful incentives to put people away regardless of crime, innocence or guilt. The US criminal justice system is bereft of justice and accountability. It only serves the ambitions of prosecutors. In America, criminal “justice” operates like a Stalin-era street sweep in which hapless citizens instantly became “enemies of the people” simply by being arrested. December 18, 2004 Dr. Roberts is John M. Olin Fellow at the Institute for Political Economy and Research Fellow at the Independent Institute. He is a former associate editor of the Wall Street Journal, former contributing editor for National Review, and a former assistant secretary of the U.S. Treasury. He is the co-author of The Tyranny of Good Intentions. –Paul Craig Roberts Archives –from Rogue A Note From The Lucky Devil’s Workshop Here is another project we are chopping up. This one is for a good friend of mine Mr. Bosshamer. We had custom Hammer wheels made for it and chose to run a Perse hex front end. Next we will be working out the sheet and some cool stainless hammer handle bars. Don’t worry my right hand man Bongo is doing most of the work on this one so I can get to your Sturgis Chopper fender. The seat pan is ready for lather I just need to know how close to put your mounting bungs and what kind of tooled design and or lettering you want to have on the cover. Sad Christmas Tale Late Christmas week I was rushing around trying to get some last minute shopping done. I was stressed out and not thinking very fondly of the season right then. It was dark, cold and wet in the parking lot as I started loading my car up with gifts that I felt obligated to buy. I noticed that I was missing a receipt that I might need later. So, mumbling under my breath, I retraced my steps to the mall entrance. As I was searching the wet pavement for the lost receipt, I heard a quiet sobbing. The crying was coming from a poorly dressed boy of about 12 years old. He was short and thin. He had no coat. He was just wearing a ragged flannel shirt to protect him from the cold night’s chill. Oddly enough, he was holding a hundred dollar bill in his hand. Thinking that he had gotten lost from his parents, I asked him what was wrong. He told me his sad story. He said that he came from a large family. He had three brothers and four sisters. His father had died when he was nine years old. His mother was poorly educated and worked two full time jobs. She made very little to support her large family. Nevertheless, she had managed to skimp and save two hundred dollars to buy her children Christmas presents. The young boy had been dropped off by his mother on the way to her second job. He was to use the money to buy presents for all his siblings and save just enough to take the bus home. He had not even entered the mall when a boy grabbed one of the hundred dollar bills and disappeared into the night. Why didn’t you scream for help?” I asked. The boy said, “I did.” And nobody came to help you?” I queried. The boy stared at the sidewalk and sadly shook his head. “How loud did you scream?” I inquired. The soft-spoken boy looked up and meekly whispered, “Help me!” I realized that absolutely no one could hear that poor boy cry for help. So I grabbed his other hundred-dollar bill and ran. Sitting Here What happened to the I Don’t Feel Like I’m People Yell Out Answers I’m Not Asking For Special Treatment I’m Just An Ordinary Man Composed By Panhead Josh Of Outlaws World, Do not reproduce without owners concent. Bikernet Sewing Lesson Angus Broon of Glasgow comes to the little lady of the house exclaiming, “Maggie, cud ya be sewin on a wee button that’s come off of me fly? I can’t button me pants.” “Oh Angus, I’ve got me hands in the dishpan, go up the stairs and see if Mrs. MacDonald could be helpin ya with it.” About 5 minutes later, there’s a terrible crash, a bang, a bit of yelling and the sound of a body falling down the stairs. Walking back in the door with a blackened eye and a bloody nose comes Angus.The little lady looks at him and says, “My god, what happened to ya? Did you ask her like I told you?” “Aye,” says Angus.”I asked her to sew on the wee button, an she did, everything was goin’ fine but when she bent doon to bite off the wee thread, Mr. MacDonald walked in.” MERRY FUCKIN’ CHRISTMAS–Okay, Agent Zebra finished his third pitcher of beer and looked at me cross-eyed, “Advertising sucks. Why not build the site without advertising?” I looked at him and thought, “Here goes.” “You need to charge everyone to come to Bikernet,” he said. “I don’t like shutting the site down like that,” I said thinking that he was bound to sink the ship before the holidays were over. “Just charge five bucks,” Zebra said waving to our German waiter. “Who could pass it up? A whole year for $5.00.” I scratched my head and wondered if I was drunk or he was mumbling. “We’d need more guys to join.” “Tell ’em it’s cheaper than an oil filter,” He muttered ordering another pitcher of beer as dark as fresh dog turds. “The only benefit to a filter is that it filters out the shit and you don’t.” I thought, what the hell. He might be right. And so the process started. Our hope is that all readers will join for that price and support Bikernet in addition to the Cantina. If it works, we’ll bring you content like never before. Besides we won’t fuck with anyone’s Christmas budget. Ride Forever, Bandit
Visit me at www.midnightexpressmotorcycle.com 
~~~~~~~~~
Old Style Making Me Numb
Trying To Figure Out
Where In Life I Went Wrong
~
Good Start I Had
Drugs And Booze
Murdered My Level Head
Why Must I Make The
Same Mistakes
Over And Over Again
~
In Control Of My Life
All I Know Is Im Not
Doing Something Right
~
But They Don’t Understand
It’s Not That Simple For Me
I’m Not A Ordinary Man
~
I’m Just A SImple Man
Trying To Live My Life
The Best I Can
~
Their Are No Wholes
In These Hands
Why Must People Crucify Me
I Just Don’t Understand
~
