General Posts

* Molecularly speaking, water is actually much drier than sand. * The term “bank teller” originated in the wake of the 1929 stock market crash, when banks began hiring low-paid workers to “tell” throngs of frantic depositors that their money was gone. * The brand name “Jelly Belly” was created in 1982 after Nancy Reagan

Even more serious than the mania for chocolate is the growing epidemic of MAS, or Motorcycling Addiction Syndrome. Don’t laugh because you might be its next victim. Just to give you a possible heads up in case it’s creeping up on you, here are a few questions to quietly answer for yourself. How many of

Useless Facts II The longest one-syllable word in the English language is “screeched.” Barbie’s measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33. All of the clocks in Pulp Fiction are stuck on 4:20. A coat hanger is 44 inches long if straightened “Dreamt” is the only English word that ends in the letters “mt”. The word

According to today’s regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were kids in the 40’s, 50’s, 60’s, or even maybe the early 70?s probably shouldn’t have survived. Our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paint. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles , doors or cabinets, … and when we rode our

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be “meetings.” 3. There is a very fine line between “hobby”

(What do you expect from such simple creatures?) Their last name stays put. The garage is all theirs. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. They can be president. They can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell them the truth. The world is their urinal. They

…why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? …why women can’t put on mascara with their mouth closed? …why there’s no headline that reads “Psychic Wins Lottery?” …why “abbreviated” is such a long word!? …why doctors call what they do “practice?” …why you have to click on “Start” to stop Windows 98? …why

Oil Change instructions for Women: 1)Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the last oil change. 2) Drink a cup of coffee. 3) 15 minutes later write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle. Money spent: Oil Change $20.00 Coffee $1.00 Total $21.00 Oil Change instructions for Men:

1. A bicycle can’t stand-alone because it is two tired. 2. What’s the definition of a will? It’s a dead giveaway. 3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. 4. A backward poet writes inverse. 5. In democracy it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism it’s your count that votes. 6. She

FOR MEN TIRED OF RECEIVING MALE-BASHING JOKES How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to him. Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will probably

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we’re kids? If you’re less than 10 years old, you’re so excited about aging that you think in fractions. “How old are you?” “I’m four and a half!” You’re never thirty-six and a half. You’re four and

SYMPTOM: Beer is crystal-clear. FAULT: It’s water. Somebody is trying to sober you up. ACTION: Punch him. SYMPTOM: Don’t recognize anyone, don’t recognize the room you’re in. FAULT: You’ve wandered into the wrong party. ACTION: See if they have free beer. SYMPTON: Feet cold and wet. FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle. ACTION: Rotate

OLD DIRT Hey Dad,” one of my kids asked the other day, “What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up?” “We didn’t have fast food when I was growing up,” I informed him. “All the food was slow.” “C’mon, seriously. Where did you eat?” “It was a place called ‘at home,” I