Weekly News

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–WOMEN DRUG MEN FOR SEX BEFORE CHRISTMASAh, last weekend. A blur of warm fires, warm women and Christmas Parades. Friday night was something out of a Holiday porno movie, followed by Redondo Beach Boat parade Saturday, another party, and a midnight ride on the blacked-out Buell back to the Headquarters. The next morning […]

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–STAFF THREATENS WALKOUT ON THE 15THHey,I’m innocent, I tell ya. The Union of Pixels and Bytes, Local #352 has threatened to shut the doors on the vast Bikernet empire and walk out on the 15th. Management is due to meet with union representatives this afternoon, and after the news we hope to report

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–SANTA RIDES SHOVELHEAD DRUNK–GETS DUIHey,It was another memorable weekend, beginning with Friday and some garage time. I repositioned the Joker Machine pegs on the marvelous mystical Blue Flame for a more comfortable ride. If you ever build a bike and want top-of-the-line billet components, try them. These pegs were designed with a 3-inch

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–LIFE’S PLEASUREDOM DISCOVERED BY BIKERNET RESEARCH TEAMHey,You didn’t know that Bikernet had a university grant to research the essence of life’s pleasures, did you? It creates an interesting quandry. By revealing our findings, our stock will rocket through the tar paper roof of the headquarters. We’ll become filthy rich and loose our grasp

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–THANKSGIVING CANCELED, TURKEY DRUNKHey,As the sun created a fireworks display over the L.A. Harbor this morning, the Dark-Haired One slipped into the turkey chasin’ mode and hit the stores. I knew the news was slight, but the show must go on. It’s actually a perfect opportunity to thank the staff for the hard

BIKERNET NEW FLASH–MOTORCYCLES STOLEN IN HOLLYWOODThere’s never an ordinary weekend around the Bikernet headquarters, and the Love Ride Weekend would be no exception. First, rain threatened, and schedules floundered under the illusion that there might be a downpour. But the crew at Bikernet continued to prepare for the weekend by getting up late, drinking early,

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–LOVE RIDE MANIA ROCKS LOS ANGELESThe Blue Flame will be home tonight and we ride like hell bent for leather once again. I’ll break out the riding crop and whip her like she’s never been beaten before. It’s Love Ride Weekend, when Los Angeles becomes biker-world for a wild couple of days. Every

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–WILLIE G. KIDNAPPED BY FOREIGN TERRORISTSWe all seem to be burning the candle at both ends. Do you feel the same? I think I’m busy and call someone in the industry, and I can tell by the tone of their voice that they’re moving at light speed. Their words are clipped and their

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–CONSPIRACY CHARGES FILED AGAINST MEMBER OF BIKERNET STAFFThis is ridiculous. We’ve got so much shit flyin’ we don’t know which way to turn. Perhaps I should just go out to the Bikernet garage… and fire up the ’48 and let her warm up. Since we slipped new pistons in it, I’m trying to

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–HEADQUARTERS OVERRUN WITH WOMENBig week at the Bikernet sweat shop. You know the feeling of having a week that looks as calm as Monday Night Football and a cold one — no break-ins, fist fights, cops banging on the crumbling exterior of the Bikernet headquarters, nada. Sure, my plate was full with six

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–EVERYONE GOES CHAPTER 11Damn,I left the highrise, executive board room, life of Easyriders to slow down, and instead have become a speed freak and go faster every day. At least the commute is 20 feet instead of 45 miles, there’s no tele-conferencing and no memos. It’s all phone, fax and e-mail. Orwell goes

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–ULTIMATE TECH TIP REVEALED Hey,Last weekend Custom Chrome rolled out the diamond plate for all its major dealers across the country and Europe to allow them to view the inner workings of the largest aftermarket distributor on the planet devoted to getting custom parts to their customers fast. It’s a gathering of manufacturers

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–GUNFIRE ROCKS THE HEADQUARTERSHey,Life in the ghetto is never dull. I don’t know how to explain this, except to rattle on and hope you get the gist of the story. We had a box of chrome parts of good news this week. The Street Stalker is sold for enough to print Sam “Chopper”

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–TITAN OFFERS TO BUY GENERAL MOTORS! The week started calmly enough. I hit the Ink Slingers Ball with the dark-haired one and enjoyed the vast array of tattoo art. I was most impressed with the Cori Miller crew’s work from Six Feet Under Tattoo in Upland, Calif. Samson exhaust system came on board

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–HARLEY-DAVIDSON AWARDS BIKERNET FIRST TWIN CAM, 100-INCH FXR–CONGRATULATIONS MEN!It’s a dewy morning. Last night a blanket of fog rolled in over the hot harbor. It was a bizarre sight, like some sort of acid rain headed our way. First the coastline was covered, then the massive container cranes, then the channel, then the

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–GORE PROMISES TO ABOLISH ALL HELMET LAWS–YIPEE!Why are there always spectacular sunrises over the harbor? She rolled on top of me this morning before either one of us was awake. Where did she come from? Did she slip into the headquarters in the night? I couldn’t figure it out, but suddenly I didn’t

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–SEX SCANDAL ROCKS BIKERNET–WE HOPEI was just sitting here when she came to the door. I’m hammering away on the keyboard, concerned that we don’t have enough images for the news this week, thinking about the Labor Day weekend and all the treachery it holds: traffic jams, Nuutboy’s party in Idyllwild, the Four

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–NEW WEBMASTER ASSISANATES STAFF MEMBERThere’s not a lot we can report currently. The headquarters are still wrapped in that yellow tape printed with little grinning skulls. All I can say is that we were having a board meeting in the garage when the hiss of a .22 short pierced the air and our

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–BIKERNET STAFFER RIDES RIGID TO STURGIS AND SURVIVESThe 60th anniversary Black Hills Rally has been over for a week, and like an ant hill the minions are still scurring from the nectar nest in the Badlands. What a rally. More people, motorcycles, vendors, women, T-shirts, and bars than ever before. Hell, I’m still

BIKERNET NEWS Hey, I’m innocent, I tell ya. I’m working every night on the sleek Daytec Blue Flame. I try to squeeze in a workout every other day. The joints to hit along the way to the wayward badlands are lined up and Markus came out to memorialize the bike with his photographic talents. Sometime,

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–BANDIT CANCELS ZEBRA’S ROOM IN STURGIS–CONSPIRACY FOILED AS PROBE DISCOVERS FOUL PLAY Hey,I’m innocent, I tell you. Fortunately a reasonable officer let me off that night and I’m back at the keyboard. Two days ago the Blue Flame was loaded into Japanese Jay’s hammered ’78 Ranchero, and we hauled out to smog-ridden, bleak,

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–BANDIT ARRESTED ON THE BACK STREETS OF SAN PEDRO Hey, I’m telling you I was innocent. Phil Ross of Supermax belt drives was with me, he can tell you, and the dark haired beauty, well she was there, too. I’ve been working like a mad dog on the Blue Bomb for Sturgis everyday,

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–BIKERNET HEADQUARTERS ATTACKED BY DEVIL DOLLS MCHey,Short week, short time to Sturgis, life’s bananas. I’d tell you about the 4th of July weekend, but you wouldn’t believe it. I’d tell you about the plans for this weekend, but they’re too hectic, I’d tell you about my bike build for Sturgis, but I’m frustrated,

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–WIN SHITHERE QUICK, THE REST OF THE STAFF HAS BEEN ARRESTEDIt’s 2:45 a.m. and I’m just stumbling in the door. The week’s beenhectic, and every afternoon I’ve hit a dealership for parts. Agent Zebra’sbike is almost ready for wire and a test ride. While I order parts and waitfor shipments for my Daytec