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Electric Cars Can Kiss My Ass

Eclectic article on Electrifying Changes in Our Lives

by the Wicked Bitch with photos from Dean and J.J. Solari

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Did you know that I haven’t always been a motorcycle girl? The truth is, my love of Harley-Davidson isn’t the wind and the wheels and the rallies.. its a lot more about the internal combustible engines nestled within their frames.

You see, I was born, a shop girl. I was raised in a body shop and they tell me that I was soothed to sleep from birth, by the rumble of engines, laying on a pallet on the warm hoods of Super Bees and Challengers.

My baby bed, was built by Mopar, and colored Plum Crazy and Big Bad Orange. My dad bragged that I could tell a Ford from a Chevy by the time I learned to walk.. and when i did learn to walk, I left tiny handprints in the dust of an old yellow Volkswagen bug in the corner of the shop.

The most elemental parts of being a human, I have learned in a car… and yea, that includes a few things learned as a teenager in back seats too. So, being this female human for whom the smell of gasoline and acrylic enamel makes my uterus constrict with childhood memories…

I. Hate. Electric. Cars. I mean, I knew in second grade that my little sister’s Barbie Jeep was a piece of shit next to my Daddy’s Silverado.

I am blown away with how many morons are on the news sites defending electric cars today. One of these green new dildos mouthed off ‘my local Hy-Vee grocery charges cars for free.’

I asked her how many it can charge at a time. She says, ‘ 2.’ Sooo.. since it takes a few hours to charge… maybe four people can charge their car at her grocery store, over the course of a work day?

And.. are you supposed to just sit at the grocery or charging station for three or four hours?

Another dude says they won’t stress the energy grid because people charge their cars after midnight ‘ when nobody is using much electricity.’

That’s not what happened in California last summer. I mean, first of all.. EVERYBODY charges their cellphones after midnight, right? Why would you think they do better with their cars?

Also, where does he live that Walmart and factories aren’t open and running 24 hours a day? What if there is a power outage? How do you start your car then? Maybe keep a GAS GENERATOR for backup?

Then we have the ‘lets normalize living close enough to walk to work.’ Aww, how sweet.. maybe lets normalize understanding how many jobs are in the middle of fields and industrial complexes and oil fields and lots of other places you couldn’t possibly ‘walk to work.’
Honorable President of Harley-Davidson Empire - Savior Messiah of the Doomed Planet - charging (on? ) his LiveWire
Honorable President of Harley-Davidson Empire - Savior Messiah of the Doomed Planet - charging (on? ) his LiveWire

There must be A LOT of people who have never traveled farther than their local Starbucks.
I HAVE traveled extensively. I have driven almost every interstate in America end to end… and I am here to tell you.. there are still many, many places in America that can tax the range of a gas vehicle… much less a Tesla.

How do you drive an electric car and cross West Texas or Arizona or South Dakota? You can’t, without spending more days to get there. All these brainwashed people who are loving Yellowstone and 1883 need to realize their Teslas aren’t much better than Elsa’s wagon train.

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