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J.J.'s 2021 Joyous Xmas Letter

The Christmas letter I would send if I just had the nerve

By J.J. Solari with some images from Sam Burns

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Dear Close and Cherished Associate: Holiday Waves to you!

Well. It’s been quite a ride, hasn’t it? Whew! Are you staying safe? I know I’m doing
everything EYE can to stay safe. And not just for me! But for everyone else. I don’t think
I am going to take my mask off even when the pandemic has been conquered.

I am leaving it on until all diseases are eradicated. You might say that is very noble to which I would agree but you would maybe add “Will this happen in your lifetime?” It will if we all get on board with me! We can do this! Humanity is strong when united. And haven’t we seen enough divisiveness?

Agreement takes no effort. It’s easy to do. And isn’t that what Christmas is all about? Everyone liking everyone and agreeing to be in all things
together whenever the call goes out to all be in things together? I feel empowered just
writing this!

I have to admit, though, trying to understand what retail personnel, etc, are actually, saying to me from the other side of a Stay Safe Protectorant mask and a thick barrier of bullet proof glass and from 6 feet away has not been easy.

I have anger issues and stuff? That I try hard to keep under control and stuff? But I do confess I often am sorely tempted to scream “Take your fucking mask off, stand closer, and get rid of this fucking transparent blast-door between us you fucking germaphobic OCD Adrian-Monk -level imbecile. I have NO idea what the fuck you are saying!!”

But I don’t do that because I know they are ordered to stay safe by their bosses who are ordered to stay safe by their Medical Hierarchs in the government capitols of the world who are only concerned about caring for the people who are paying them under duress to provide more duress. I mean to keep us safe. And I have no problem with that because, hey, I’m 78. I could go at any second. I can ride this out. I feel sorry for the 10-year-olds.

‘Cause this ain’t ending any time soon. But can you put a time limit on safety? I am
going to say no to that! Fortunately, so is Doctor Faukey. So, we’re all on board! But I do
have to admit: being responsible for the health of the earth’s human population AND being responsible for the earth’s weather?…….It’s tough!

But we are strong, right? And we’re all in this together. So, sharing the load of responsibility is what comradeship is all about, right? I think so. Speaking of the weather, you know, the Apaches when they want to affect the upper atmosphere and stuff? - they do a very badly-choreographed dance to even worse non-melodic repetitive riffs….. and that works! So, what we need is a globally choreographed World Dance to stop global warming.

Hey, it works for the Hopi: New Mexico is now a tropical paradise and the corn that the Pueblo Indian Corn-Dance grows? It’s world famous. Singing and dancing in lieu of modern farming methods and harvest strategies adapted to incrementally variable whether anomalies works for them and it can work for us. Same with beans being rattled in a dried gourd. It’s been curing the Chiricahua for thousands of years. It can cure C-19. We just need to believe.

Which reminds me, Kim Jong Un has ordered everyone to not sing or drink alcohol during the Christmas, New Years holidays. Because his father and grandfather are dead. And they are all in this together sadnesswise, which I think is a beautiful thing. Because I would be afraid to say otherwise. And I would deserve the abuse! Because I would have weakened the collective. I do not want that on my shoulders. Especially if it becomes a crime.

So, yeah, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year but not too much merriment and not too much happiness, because, as Mr Biden’s “covid coordinator” said, me and my family and you and your family can, if you don’t get inoculated with whatever is being called a vaccine this week, that we all can look forward to a winter of sickness and death.

And that’s the Biden Christmas message: to look forward to a winter of sickness and death. Which USED to be called “the annual cold and flu season.” Talk about playing-down a wintertime catastrophe!!

Ha-ha! “The annual cold and flu season”!! Were we led down the garden path with THAT one!!!!
What’s next, calling climate change Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter??

So I’m going to do what he, our -until maybe tomorrow - President says because he is a whopping lot more smarter than me.

Welcome to Year Three. That’s the new calendar by the way. Screw this AD and BC crap. We are not heading into 2022 in the Year of our Lord. HELL no, screw all that historical hocus pocus, we are in Science-Year 3 of C-19! AND I LOVE IT!

Stay Safe!! Don’t let sickness and death ruin your reputation!!

--JJ Solari
Join the Cantina, Quick! Touch her.
Join the Cantina, Quick! Touch her.


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Reader Comments

Thanks JJ for those woberful words of encouragement and instilling hope for the coming year. You made my day.

S.Daytona, FL
Friday, December 24, 2021
Editor Response You made J.J.'s day, I hope...
The 2021 version of "Season's Greetings" sucks and JJ hits the nail on the head expressing it. Can we go back to the old 20th Century version?

Vern Moore
Kingsley, PA
Friday, December 24, 2021
Editor Response Yep, next year or die trying...

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