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Presenting The Faux Trump Internet-Access POST IMPEACHMENT II

"Fuck You, Twitter and Facebook" Bikernet Swah-Ray!!

By J.J. Solari with images from the vast internet

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Well, as you know the second impeachment effort failed.
And the Faux-Trump that has been filling-in for the real
Donald Trump here on Bikernet, assuming there actually is a real Donald Trump, is in full revved-engine mode to BE Donald Trump until such time as the Social Media
Emperors allow the real Donald Trump back onto their
sacred and holy venues. So, sit back, relax, and fall asleep while Fake Donald Trump takes a victory lap, courtesy of J.J. Solari.

"Hey 'America Was Great Again For 4 Years At Least Until the Fake Election That Put Biden Into Office,' - how ya doin'??

How about that second impeachment failure, uh?
You know what THAT means, right?..... a whole new flu
'pandemic.' That's right, the Second Impeachment-Failure=flu.

Think they would actually do that flu shit twice though?
Yeah, I think they would. They gut a pretty limited
playbook. But you can never overestimate Biden's
commitment to destruction. He could order a nuclear strike on Akron Ohio to keep me from running for office again.

Because you KNOW I'm gonna run for office again. In
FACT, I might not even have to run for office again to be
President for a second term. In FACT, I basically AM
President for a second term. This second impeachment
failure kind of proves it. I mean they had a lock on this
tighter than the lock that's on Britney Spears' hard earned cash.

You think it's easy to sing a song with a python
coiled around your neck? You should be entitled to the
money you earned from doing that.

Speakin' o' people who play with long bendy circular
things, how about that Kamala-toe Harris, uh? You notice
she's kinda stayin' in the backround, no? Yep, she's just
sittin' quietly, crossin' and uncrossin her legs for the
cameras and lookin' at her watch and countin' the minutes. And then....President Harris.

What's that, buddy? say she's kneeling quietly, not
sitting quietly? I like how you think, where you from?

None of my fuckin' business? HAHAHA now I REALLY like you. Giving me shit to my face. Well, you're no White House Staffer, I can see that! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA I love this crowd.

You know pretty much that the job of President is a makebelieve, no-such-thing job if Kamala “Don’t lecture me,” Harris has it. Well, she doesn't have it yet. But she knows Joe 'I'LL HAVE ANOTHER, BARKEEP!!!' Biden is starin' more and more into the empty future and noticing that he's not in it.

I'm typin' this on Valentine's Day, speaking o' Joe Biden:
He's likely out on the lawn with a passel o' 8 year old girls, standing behind them one at a time and gently caressing their locks.....putting his face against the back of their skulls and closing his eyes in happy delirium.

Wait till Easter Sunday. Kids lookin' for eggs in Joe Biden's yard. Wait till Halloween: kids comin' to Joe Biden's door. Wait till Christmas: kids sittin' on Joe Biden's lap. Yeah, if you're Joe Biden you gotta be lovin' the Presidency right now.

Have you noticed you'll look a goddamn fucking long time, before you come across a photo or even a 'report from an expert' about me bein' within a thousand yards of a fucking kid. I mean, I try and stay away from my OWN kids. 'Cept for, ya know, the one with the honkers.

Meanwhile every other political hack in American history since the invention of the camera is holding other peoples' babies, sitting in a classroom with first graders telling them what a warrior he is for road-construction and equal housing. Me?....

I'm at a beauty contest somewhere. That I own. With hot adult females. Meanwhile everyone else in office - at least the men – are holding small stray humans in their arms........speakin' o which, what the FUCK is it with 'The Royal Family.' Those heirs to the throne are ALWAYS in some photo bending down and smiling at some rickets-boned or diseaseinfected fly-covered herd of kids they would never have over to the house without steam-cleaning them for an hour with kerosene. They're bending down and shaking hands with or smiling enthusiastically at some bewildered cave-dwelling
shithole-doomed youngster who's never seen
ANYTHING white, forget about white PEOPLE before.

You ever see me doing that fucking shit? Jesus soap
on a rope Christ. I don't think so. You think Biden's ever gonna be involved in a scandal with a porn star? At least an ADULT porn star? No. You'll wait for Kamala Harris to have abrasion-free knees before that day arrives.

I will say though, in fairness to Old 'then you ain't Black'
Joe, he will go creep-on-one with adults as readily as with
kids when it comes to hair-sniffin'. What do you suppose
he's hoping to pick-up-the-scent-of when he does that?
Soap? Is he addicted to the smell of shampoo and hair
conditioner? I's NOT as though he tries to do
this on the sneak. No, not at all. He could be on stage at
the Superbowl singing about life at The Village and he'd
stop and leave the platform and go out into the socially
distanced stands and slowly bend and close his eyes and
touch his rosacea-ed nose against the tresses of some 40-or-younger audience member with a vagina and not care who knows it.

How long a wait do you think you will have before a
'reporter' asks 'Hey, Joe, what's with the sniffing kids hair?'

That reporter will be called a lot more than a dog faced
pony soldier. Can you imagine if I sniffed little girls' hair?
Chuck Schumer wouldn't just be throwing the word
'infamy' around. He'd be throwin' the word deviate prepubescent sexual predator around.

Speakin' o' Droopy-Dog Schumer, did you hear that
fucker? His Impeachment 2 fucking TANKED....and he's
calling it as akin to the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor.
He used the word 'infamy.' You use the word infamy and
you're in office..... you're trying to be FDR-level pompous
and majestic and gassy. The word infamy in politics is
basically an off-limits word unless you're a total piece of
worthless shit - like, say, Schumer - and you have no
shame or class or sense....or you're referencing Pearl

But let's leave World War Two even out of it, ok?......he's
calling losing a vote......infamy? He lost a vote! That's
infamy? Hey, but, hey, he calls breaking and entering
treason, insurrection, and a coup. And so does the press.
They gut their own dictionary. So, I guess it makes sense
that you would call not being able to impeach someone
who isn’t in office 'infamy.'

He's actually as stupid as he is ugly. And I do mean ugly. He is NOT a good-lookin' guy. Oh. You're saying that's mean, me calling him ugly. Oh. Ok: I'll call him a rakishly debonaire Burt Lancaster whopper of a good-lookin' rockstar of a hunk. How's that?

Speakin' o' vocabulary, can you imagine me ever saying
the word infamy? Under any circumstances? I mean it was stupid even when Roosevelt said it: he's responding to a sneak attack on America with name calling. I guess he was trying to hurt the Japs' feelings. Still, it's more than Bush said when the Muslims attacked the mainland with our own planes!!! Even the Japs didn't think o' that one.

He didn't call it a day of infamy. He didn't call it anything.
Oh, wait: he called it terror. Terror attacked us. And he
declared war on it. He declared war upon an emotion. At
least FDR declared war on Japan. Not on 'infamy.' 'We will attack infamy and drive it from our shores!!'

He didn't say that. Meanwhile Goober declares war on
terror. But hey, Nixon declared a war on drugs. One of
those other blowhard Presidents declared war on poverty.

War on hunger. War on inequity. No one fights human
enemies anymore. We fight against vocabulary words.
Remember when the hippies said everything is
everything? You're maybe-elected bureaucrat
representative was apparently listening!

Richard Burr
Richard Burr

Speakin' o' crowds, you see that Crowd of Seven alleged
Republicans who voted for my impeachment in this Get-
Trump Circus Number 2? Mitt-rhymes-with-shit was right
in there with 'em. Boy, he's a piece o' work, ain't 'e? I bet
even Satan inches back outa the way when Romney
enters the room. And not outa fear. Outa nausea.
Whew. He could foul a nest of diseased ferrets.
Then six other bilious Nothings traipsed-along after him:
Ben Sasse rhymes-with-ass. Lookit that Nebraskan fuck.
All 'let's go to work, boys!' in his fucking rolled up sleeves
like he could actually lift anything without his little tiny balls shooting out his ears like bb's. And his fucking khakis. 'It's nose to the grindstone with me, America! Let's get busy.'

Ben Sasse
Ben Sasse

So he gets busy trying to get rid of someone who actually
DOES work. And who wears a suit doing it. Then let's
see, there's Pat Toomey from Pennsylvania in his best
David Miscavige pose but with a lot crappier suit. Fucker's ears are damn near parallel with his teeth. Fucker's forehead goes all the way back to his shoulder blades.

Pat Toomey
Pat Toomey

Then Mitt Romney from Utah. Jesus. Mr 'Am I just the
darndest most innocent thing or what!!!' Fucking little
gutless pukepile. Ya know, Mormons have a very
undeserved bad reputation. Except in his case. Let's see,
who else we gut, oh, yes, holy shit, Miss Butt Ugly herself, Susan Collins from Maine. See?...that's what cold weather does to ya. It turns women into Alec Guinness.

Mitt Romney
Mitt Romney

If I had just given her the shocker just once like she likely dreams of she'da come-around. What's the shocker? Ask your teenage daughter. She'll tell ya. Maybe. Who else we gut, oh yeah, Aaron's kinfolk, Richard Burr, Noath Cah-lie-nah. Lookit that fucker. He LOOKS like he'd fry-up newborns in a skillet and feed them to his dogs as a reward for barking all night and pissing off the neighborhood. Beady-eyed lipless little prick. He looks Sith-ready for the next Star Wars movie when they need a villain. Bill Cassidy, Louisiana. Jesus Kee-riste. That is one doofus-looking dull witted looking mug right there.

Susan Collins
Susan Collins

I guess Americans figure if you elect someone ugly and stupid-looking enough to office they won't be smart enough to fuck with ya. Um.....America? don't need to be smart or good looking to fuck with people. Look at Michelle Obama.

Haha ok, I'm just kidding, you don't really have to look at
'er. And last but least, from Alaska, Lisa pisa-shit
Murkowski. Emphasis on the murk. And maybe on the
cow. If she got on the bus you'd get off, right? And by that I mean you'd exit the bus, right? Cause you KNOW she's gonna start yelling at invisible people at some point.

Bill Cassidy
Bill Cassidy

This is the Magnificent Seven of the Republican Party that voted to have me declared an Enemy of the People
and a Foreign Invader leading hippies in Revenant
costuming on an overthrow of the government. What that
mob did USED to be called breaking and entering before
political-science majors became hack journalists with no
writing or even vocabulary skills. Oh: and we all did learn
one thing from that little fracas: we learned why Congress sends YOU to fight wars rather than do it themselves. Because they're headin' the other way, baby! Whew!

Feets don't fails me now!! That was the fastest any of those assholes moved since taking office.
Anyway, good luck to Biden being the guy that loses family members but somehow wins elections.
Hey, you've been great, and let's admit it, so have I.
Together we can make America great four years from now.

Maybe sooner, the way things are goin'
See you at Impeachment 3!!!. The Biden Impeachment, when the evidence surfaces. It’s a no-brainer.

Sincerely____J.J. Solari, not Donald Trump
Click to Join the Cantina.
Click to Join the Cantina.

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Reader Comments

Hopefully the A hole will face more charges and ultimately go from Mar A Shithole to the graybar hotel where he belongs.

Tuesday, February 16, 2021
Editor Response I'm sure Biden will only have one impeachment trial, the final one.

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