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The Jan 6 Bullshit Express Is Leaving The Station!

All Aboard! Plus Sam's Picks of the Week!

By J.J. Solari with Sam Burns picks of the week

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“Yet the hoaxes, conspiracy theories and attempts to rewrite history persist, muddying the public's understanding of what actually occurred during the
most sustained attack on the seat of American democracy since the War of
1812.”_____AP hack of no consequence

This is a sentence of a Jan 1 article by a hack for the Ass-ociated Press,now widely reprinted by every other news cistern in America regarding the Jan 6th breaking-and-entering incident at the Rest Home for Aged Child
Molesters, often called “The Capitol Building.” Written by a hack who is worried about “the public” becoming confused. So, being the wise hack journalist failed novelist he is….he is going to save “the public” from falling into confusion or dismay. He will bring words of clarity and understanding.

Unlike what you - the public - have.

There’s a reason the world detests news hacks:
this failed novelist, or “journalist” as these untalented people call each other, is actually…..get this!……he’s actually calling a slowly moving wall of idiots in football paint over their bare chests, wearing moose antlers,
disregarding do-not-enter signs and wandering the hallways of taxation…..

He’s calling this sideshow of morons that had, at least, the reps and senators shitting their drawers “the most sustained attack on the seat of American democracy since the war of 1812.”

Do you know what the War of 1812 was? The war of 1812 was a major conflict between two entire fucking nations of vast global influence upon humanity: Britain and America. This fucking asshole journalist hack is
comparing an all-out war between two nations with histories of conquest, the British history of it being huge; battles between large armies with detailed strategies and armaments; losses of lives and fortunes on a major
scale…did I mention navies?….did I mention navies at all?……and this is being cited as on a par as a “danger to American democracy” as a horde of- probably drunk - weaponless, wriggling, sidestepping, leaderless
shitheads opening doors and looking into offices while gawking at the furniture and scratching at their balls.

THIS is the biggest sustained attack……wandering stoned and drunk through empty hallways…..on the
seat of American democracy since the war of 1812.

This isn’t rewriting history this is rewriting sanity. This asshole actually gets paid. By the AP. Not by the Podunk Times, but by the AP. The Gurus of Stupid in the front offices of the AP where this idiot “works” read this when
it came across their desk and they all got boners of love and admiration and said “This was MADE for our audience of losers.”

And just like that, it went to press and now it is revered by all the other news sewers as a masterpiece of insight.

Apparently a hundred Japanese warplanes vaporizing the Pacific Fleet at Pearl Harbor does not come up to the horror of drunken housewives and rowdy grab-ass sports fans falling over each other enough to be called an
attack on American democracy.

Hirohito gets a pass from this asshole while Bullwinkle The Viking, making exuberant facial expressions like he
just won the neighborhood skateboard contest, is a threat to American democracy to be taken very seriously.

No one, not even a journalist, is that fucking stupid, I don’t care how many facemasks he might be wearing at the moment. For him to be ACTIVELY LYING would be a more respectable admission than, “Yeah, I am actually
that fucking stupid.”

So the more self-respecting admission would be,
“Yeah, I’m lying.” Because you can FIX a lie. And you can stop being a liar. But you can’t fix stupid. And you can’t decide to be from now on smart. So
of the two, being a liar would be a more welcome realization to one’s ego than a sudden realization that one was in fact moronically intellectually
fucked up to the point of actually fulfilling the definition of stupid. So, we have demonstrated that.

But he IS actively stupid. Don’t misunderstand me. For one thing he doesn’t know the definition of conspiracy. A conspiracy is something that is discovered and revealed. Statements, like the ones the insufferable piles of
imbecility called Q-Anon proclaim as existing…..are merely accusations without evidence or proof. Such as UFO’s always being assumed to be industrial-level spacecraft piloted by extraterrestrial beings rather than
“unidentified” flying objects.

If they’re unidentified….then they have not
been identified. Either as spacecraft or as moths. They’re U! fo’s. Not I! fo’s. It’s the same morass of insanity as “conspiracy” claims. They’re announcements: proclamations; slogans, like, say, “aluminum hats matter”
or “Winston tastes good like a cigarette should” - that may or may not have anything to do with actual reality until actually examined and researched.

Could be the claim is true for all I know. But whether the conspiracy exists, proclaiming its existence means you found out about it. So, it’s not still a conspiracy. So, you either get on board or you eradicate it. But no one ever
does anything about the “conspiracies” that people claim to be revealing.

So they are either totally harmless or no one cares. And if no one cares….then who cares?

Well, AP hacks care, apparently. Because these conspiracy theories have a different definition for this fucker: to him all conspiracy theories are untrue
by definition. Even though a revealed conspiracy is by definition not a conspiracy. It’s an accusation. You have to learn to think your way through legal, journalist, and political ever—evolving definitions of words because
all three groups are interested in one thing only: getting YOU to believe that total absolute horseshit is completely sensible….and must be obeyed.

But let’s get back to Q-Anon. Q-anon is idiotic. Just look at the “army” they inspired with their claims that the AP dope is calling “conspiracy theories”:
potheads, football fans and drunks in Valkyrie helmets.

Here’s the proof the Democrats and hacks are idiots: they’re AFRAID of these drunken clowns. Incidentally not one arson fire was started in the Capitol building and not
one Brave Representative of the Peoples Democracy was harmed. Because they fucking fled.

A janitor with a loud voice and a stern
expression could have stopped that breaking-and-entering of over-adventurous tourists. But then the mob would not have had any reason to harm a janitor: he never created a new legal way to fuck up the citizenry.

Ocasio of course proclaimed the loudest that her fear was the most justified. She must suspect America can’t fucking stand her because she lost no time in proclaiming that she was convinced her number was up.

I’ll give all the other cowardly representatives-of-the-people credit, they kept their mouths shut and didn’t admit they were shitting their pants. But no one
has EVER said Ocasio was more than a photogenic face in front of a nonexistent brain. And no one ever said she was courageous. Including her, now.

You may have noticed if you are older than 7 and paying attention that “democracy” when used by a Democratic Marxist, which would be any Democrat, means “any person or group opposed to the dictates of the
Democratic Marxist person or group.” To a democrat “democracy” means waiting for a corrupt election to occur: meanwhile patiently putting up with everything killing you until such time as you get to vote for its repeal. While 10 million more edicts you NEVER get to vote on become law. Democracy to a journalist Democrat/Marxist dunce who flees at the sound of thunder or
windows breaking means “enduring tyranny without fighting back.”

God forbid you fight back: you would see how weak and Ocasio-level cowardly your tyrants actually are. Meanwhile, if you MUST push and shove your
way into the Capitol building, remember, breaking and entering IS actually frowned upon by the Left AND the Right. But it’s not insurrection.

Despite what hacks at the AP say. It’s breaking and entering.

--J.J. Solari

Join Bandit's Cantina for the kicks.
Join Bandit's Cantina for the kicks.

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