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Political Question Of the Day

Just How Stupid IS Ocasio Cortez

By J.J. Solair, Researcher of Ocasiotometricotomiosis

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How stupid is Ocasio Cortez? Is that your question? You want to know how stupid she actually is? Well, I don’t think we have an actual GAUGE for stupidity on this planet, even with regard to American members of the House of Representatives. The stupidity gauge is, well, it’s a variable depending on, well, the stupid person himself, and of course the person declaring one or another person as stupid, or, the declarer, I guess it would be. And then we have Ocasio Cortez herself who is pushing and advancing and enlarging the boundaries of Stupid to where it is almost impossible to get an accurate measure of its dimensions.

Which brings me to her latest one man show of stupidity. I know what you’re saying. She’s not a man. Well, that’s you saying that. That’s not me saying that. She has everyone in Congress and the Senate and probably the Pentagon scared to death of her. If that ain’t being a man, I don’t know what is. I know what you’re saying. You’re saying that the only thing it proves is that everyone in DC EXCEPT her is a total douche.

You know, I would love to spar all day long with you on this matter but that’s not why I’m here. I’m here to announce Ocasio’s most recent stellar performance of stupidity. And I am sure you would like me to get on with it. And I respect that. You deserve to be accommodated because you are deserving of that courtesy.

So, you may or may not know that the notorious and endless and everlasting mantra of “Roe Vee Wade” that every news fuck and journalist fuck and bureaucrat fuck has relentlessly been spitting out of their jaws for the past 50 years has been “overturned.” Even though nothing actually changed. Keep in mind Ocasio is the only actual topic here. Ocasio. Not whatever Roe Vee Wade even actually is. Ocasio is the focus. And the fact that she is as fucking stupid as a splotch of marmalade on the far side of Saturn. Which would explain why she made it into Congress.

So whatever Roe Vee Wade is got removed from Federal Authority and was transferred to the individual States to do with what they want. Whatever the fuck that even means.

It’s at this point Ocasio shows up. Blue in the face and her Leader-of-the-Squad ferocity in full distemper she calls out two recent additions to the Supreme Court and demands they be “impeached.” Whatever that even means. Her grounds for this are that they both committed perjury: they lied to the Senate during the idiotic interviews the Senate idiots conduct with the idiots who are vying for lifetime jobs on the Supreme Court.

TWO of these people on the Supreme Court told the Senate “under oath” that they would not “reverse” Roe Vee Wade. Well, turns out they did. They reversed Roe Vee Wade.

Ocasio is convinced this is perjury. There’s a reason she never made it through law school.

“Changing your mind down the road” is not perjury. It’s changing your mind down the road.

Even if you didn’t change your mind but followed through with a secret plan you had all along….it’s not perjury. You can’t commit perjury by lying about a future event involving your behavior. There no such fucking thing as that in any legal system in the galaxy. Perjury is lying under oath in a government clownhouse arena about a PAST event you did, or you knew about, or whatever. It’s not about changing your mind AFTER your day in court. That’s not perjury. That’s not ANYTHING.

In the whole legal library of legaleez no one has ever heard of this. It’s Ocasio Law. It’s her own law system. It’s her own legal arena of girlie make believe. Kinda like, how it is when you play with dolls. It’s make believe. It’s the Ocasio Legal System. She’s a fucking idiot!

And that’s basically what I wanted to present. Thank you. I’ll say hi to your mom next time she comes over if I’m home. Sometimes she just comes over. She has a key.

Thank you!
--J.J. Solari,
Researcher of Ocasiotometricotomiosis, or “Stupidity Science 101.”™

Quick, join the Cantina. Touch her.
Quick, join the Cantina. Touch her.

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