Bikernet Blog Search Bikernet
Ride Forever -
Friday Edition

Our Sacred Democracy Once Again In Peril

Journalistic Shitsheet Is Firing Hacks

By J.J. Solari with images from the LA Times

Share this story:

The owner of The Los Angeles Times is firing so many of his hacks that all the other hacks at “major news entities” are freaking out about it and WRITING about it. While they can! HAHAHAHAHAHA

This is so fucking newsworthy that even Congress is freaking out! At least Adam Schiff is. And he’s apparently doing Shitshow Harris’s job. He’s second in command at the White house and he is looking to become a senator so if Biden wins the election and Schiff becomes a senator….he’ll basically be President of the United (more or less) States.

For the moment however somebody has to be vice president, Kamala doesn’t know what the fuck anything is or does. And Vice President Schiff is NOT happy about the owner of a newspaper running his own newspaper. Because if you’re a newspaper owner and you are firing your journalists that can only mean that you are going to become threat to our sacred democracy that is run by Communist writers at “news” conglomerates.

“The move comes a day after a delegation of 10 members of Congress warned Soon-Shiong in a letter that sweeping media layoffs could undermine democracy in a high-stakes election year.”___Michelle McPhee, Los Angeles Magazine. The “move” being the owner of the L.A. Times “laying off” 115 hacks.
Now, the above link is to Los Angeles Magazine….which is different from The Los Angeles Times…. and the link is referencing The Los Angeles Times’ threat to our sacred democracy. Because The Los Angeles Times report on it’s OWN site regarding this story….won’t allow you to read it. Unless you subscribe to their online “newspaper.” And they wonder why they’re losing money. Well one reason, Times-sters, is because you’re “potential-customer-hostile.” Oh wait, I THINK they will allow you to read three things….or one thing three times…..before they forbid entry without paying Charon to take you across into the wonderland of Times reporting. Charon is a mythological boatsman who piloted the damned into hell.
So anyway The Los Angeles Times has actually made some news as opposed to inventing some news. And so much news in fact that every “major” news entity here and pro’bly in Britain - which I think has 2 - and even “members of Congress,” including Adam “pencil-neck” Schiff, are insisting that for the LA Times to be firing hacks is a threat to our democracy especially in this election year. Apparently it’s not a threat in other years, certainly not worth going apefire about, just in election years. Fire who you want in other years. That’s the only conclusion I can draw from Congressional Holy Men being alarmed that a “major” newspaper is making drastic personnel cuts among sacred and holy and majestic writing staffers….during an election year.

Apparently congress and “the major news entities” are convinced….that The Los Angeles Times is HAHAHAHAHAHAHA influential.
The Los Angeles Times is owned by Patrick Soon-Shiong whose bio in Wikipedia is so dense and complex you will have no idea what his bio is after reading it. But he has a LOT of money. So much in fact that he has been losing millions from the newspaper that nobody wants to read but whose loss would nonetheless be a threat to our sacred democracy.
I’m guessing the Soonster, just like his reporters, has no fundamental discernment between jargon and communication since in one of his “explanations” to whatever the “press” is these days he used the word “sustainable.” If you use the word sustainable or empowerment or narrative or verbal mud puddles like climate change or “we’re all in this together” or “it’s for our kids” or “to keep you safe” et cetera, you are either a working sociopath or a brain dead barnacle with the intellectual activity of a koala.
The Los Angeles times is considered in the shitworld of news-journalism the distant second - but still second - to the lofty and godlike entity called the New York Times which is the ultimate job site for the failed novelists of news-journalism to end up at in order to be called gods of the written word aimed at enlightening mankind, and, or, their stupid readers as they probably haughtily call their readers. Assuming they have any.

Entity Number Two - the Los Angeles Times - apparently doesn’t have any. At least not enough to pay the bills. Did I mention the Los Angeles Times had to move out of Los Angeles and into El Segundo? Wherever the fuck THAT is? They had some rent problems. Now they, I am guessing, have some existence problems. Not just rent problems.
“Today’s decision is painful for all, but it is imperative that we act urgently and take steps to build a sustainable and thriving paper for the next generation,” Soon-Shiong said in a statement published by the Times. “We are committed to doing so.”___Curtis Bunn, NBC News
I wasn’t making-up the “sustainable” part. The Soon-ster has at least apparently learned the meaningless jargon to put readers to sleep - in fine journalistic style - while still struggling to learn how to make a profit at a newspaper. But at least he’s got the jargon down. And of course his concern is for “the next generation.” He’s not in the news business to make money off the present generation: he’s in the news business “for the next generation.” Because they will need newspapers. Just like they will need blacksmiths.
The degree of internal bleeding at Kim Chee’s powerhouse of emptyness is 30 to 40 million dollars a year. What was going through his head when he bought the rag at a time when the “menace of social media and independent observers” not journalist, college-graduate reporters, came into existence overnight, each with his own expertise and style and communication skills focused on specialization aimed at people who were actually interested in things other than political crap, and who in fact routinely mock political crap… anybody’s guess. He clearly didn’t see this coming. He was likely in the med lab. He is Chinese after all. Those inscrutable rascals DO seem to like tinkering with little tiny life forms inside test tubes and wriggling across petri dishes. And he thinks that some “next generation” is going to even be aware that “news journalism” (political-agenda propagandering) exists? He needs to stick to creating whatever it is he creates in his medical labs and let the UN Health Advisors run the world, not news hacks.

Now the reason the printed-news empires are declaring the LA Times disintegration as something that must be stopped and that the LA Times must remain in existence even - probably - via eternal financing via government printing presses if necessary - is because if the LA Times actually disappears…..then this is a trend that will spread. Kinda like a pandemic. Only a real one this time. One that will actually keep us safe. From hacks.

Above is a New York Times synopsis written by two, not just one, of its wondrous journalism geniuses, which apparently the New York Times is going to allow you to read (just once) and you can compare their version of the Los Angeles Times layoffs to my version of the Los Angeles times layoffs and you will see that my version is better. And I don’t even have a degree. What I DO have is a brain.
Just a word of caution?….you will only be allowed to read the wondrous NY Times article once. If you try to read it twice the NY Times Police will start an interrogation to see if you are worthy to read it twice. In the newspaper business this is called “customer service.” Or “trying to go bankrupt” as I call it.

The “news” and government are close, symbiotic parasites, which I explain in lengthy detail in my unpublished government-journalism translation dictionary which at the moment only exists on my laptop because what am I, Random House Publishers? And because they - news hacks and bureaucrats in office - rely on each other for continued existence you SOON will be being barraged by urgent panic-button hysteria from the likes of David Muir and Anderson Cooper and Rachel Maddow and whatever The View is that the the loss of “the news” is a national health emergency requiring the citizenry to pay higher taxes, assuming there’s still some altitude available up there where taxes already are… keep “the press” as a “viable safeguard against the enemies of democracy.” That’s what’s coming: you being forced to pay for news agencies you are not interested in. HAHA, thanks to Ling Ting Tao, or whatever the fuck his name is.
On the PLUS side he’s firing a bunch of hacks.
Meanwhile back at the Cantina.
Meanwhile back at the Cantina.

So there’s ya know, yin and yang in alla this. How very Asian! It’s a beautiful thing. Until next time!!
--J.J. Solari
Quick, join up. Just click and go.
Quick, join up. Just click and go.

Share this story:

Back to Of Cultural Interest, Special Reports

Reader Comments

“for the next generation.” Because they will need newspapers. Just like they will need blacksmiths.
LOLOL. Bahahaaha

Columbia, SC
Saturday, January 27, 2024

Your thoughts on this article

Your Name
Anti-Spam Question:
Please enter the words you see in the box, in order and separated by a space. Doing so helps prevent automated programs from abusing this service.