Dear Fellow Sufferer;

Bandit, you unspotted churl, while I praise the charging semi-truck or blunt-nosed freight-train that will one day bless Mankind with the welcome silence your sudden and violent removal from this realm shall represent, it simply cannot happen at the hand of a cheap commie bat-virus named after its creator, Red ChinaVid. The violent crunch of steel signaling your end will be like a sweet sonata to the ears of the Good and Moral People of Long Beach, a city you menace and alarm with consistency. But, I shall admit, even your welcome demise; necessary as it might be to restore law and order to the hapless hamlet where your cave was cut into the ghetto of rusting warehouses near that greasy and polluted pier; should not come at the hands of filthy COMMUNISTS. Even you deserve to be annihilated by free Americans.

Therefore, it is, after stoic, reverent consideration, and a double shot of Jack, that I bestow unto your unworthy hands—the hands of a cheap criminal no less—the one and only Special Agent Zebra Survival List.

This list is all you need to survive the Commie Cough or any other Xi-plague the wretched Red Menace may spit across into the high-seas to splash against the Virgin Lady, our Statue of Liberty.






1) A good, sharp American Tomahawk Company “hawk”, designed for hard-use, such as converting cars into convertibles, cutting hasty firing positions into rock walls, or repelling menacing hordes assaulting that listing shack you call a home (ahem).

2) A good, sharp RMJ Tactical tomahawk, in a nod to the famed adage, “Two is one, one is none.” I suggest the fabulous Eagle Talon, or, if you’d like to carry it concealed beneath your sweat-soaked, stinking vest (when are you going to wash that carcass?), a Jenny Wren—small, fast, and sharp enough to leave a moon roof in the noggin of a ne'er-do-well.

3) A very sharp fixed-blade fighting knife from RMJ Tactical for cutting freshly-baked bread from grandma, celery or safeguarding one’s prized choppers from immoral Goths who would so much as exhale on the gleaming chrome during times of civil unrest. For this bread knife I recommend the RMJ Tactical Raider Dagger. It’s made from unobatnium and so sharp it could cut through Nancy Pelosi’s bullshit.

4) A very sharp concealed-carry fixed blade knife because, as you know, two is one and one is none and if you don’t carry two knives it’s a cry for help. Or you’re a communist. Or British. I recommend the light, fast RMJ Sparrow. True to it’s fierce name, it will cut the face off a tiger.

5) Jack Daniels. This should be obvious, but knowing you, you will get drunk and stock up on mouthwash by mistake thinking Jack Daniels is on sale.

6) A copy of the Constitution to refer to in order to know when, precisely, to ignore your scheming elected officials and return to work (assuming you have a job—no, operating that online yellow journal, bikersex.com, is not considered to be legitimate employment) and the strip clubs; God Save the Queen.

That’s it. If you secure every item on this comprehensive list, there is no malady now or in the future that can rent you asunder.
I like to party. God bless America.

Yours In Proud Outlawery,

SPAZ
Special Agent Zebra


Editor’s Note: Special Agent Zebra was not paid to endorse these or any products. He’s just a wonderful, handsome, upstanding citizen who plants roses and hugs puppies at birthday parties.

Need I say more. I’ve known the agent, who had always dreamed of being a stout, resourceful military man, but spent most of his young distraught life in college classes, dreaming of real adventure, while I did three tours in Vietnam. Let’s cover the American Tomahawk this issue, and we will pour over the RMJ light and agile Tactical Tomahawk in the next story.



The Model 1 head is made from drop-forged, 1060 carbon steel (HRC-56) and is powder-coated black for corrosion resistance.

Handle options:
- Dupont SUPERTOUGH Nylon 66 (STN 66)
- Tennessee Hickory flamed and lacquered wood

Product Details
Brand: American Tomahawk

The Model 1 has a forged 1060 head featuring a forward cutting edge, and an aggressive 3.25" long Spike ready for your biggest chores. The high mount allows you to choke up right behind the blade for finer work, food prep, etc. The forged head with a connected handle makes for a lightweight and traditional design that is easy to maintain.



The Model 1 is designed to be small and light enough to never be left at home, but big enough to serve as your lightweight axe/chopping/smashing tool. The Model 1 comes with a molded bottom-eject Kydex scabbard that includes Low-Ride MOC straps for belt carry. Please check out our full line of MOC mounting options for your Model 1, we have a shoulder strap option, MOLLE mounting and others available to purchase. Great for: Camp | Utility | Backpack | Throwing | Preparedness Kit | Emergency Tool.




These are very cool and balanced. The company recommends the Nylon handle for grip and ease of operation. This puppy is light and agile, but tough as nails. It comes from the factory sharpened, but not razor sharp, so as not to slice their new customers.

I will take it to a stone shortly and see how the blade reacts to a sharpening stone. The holster is a trip, tough as nails but it takes a minute to get use to it. The Kydex sheath comes with three belt straps. I struggled with the snaps, but we will test again with someone with a tougher grip. The Model 1 snaps into position with a snap and it held with a tough composite grip.

When you want the American Tomahawk, it snaps out of the sheath with a crisp, easy sound.




Features:

Drop-forged 1060 carbon steel head with black powdercoat finish
Two Handle Choices: Dupont Supertough Nylon 66 (STN 66) anti-vibration handle with textured grip or classic Hickory
The Bottom Eject scabbard is compatible with all of our MOC mounting solutions. MOC Accessories

Specifications

Overall Length: 14.125 in
Head Length: 8 in
Cutting Edge Length: 2 3/8 in
Weight: 20 ounces (without sheath)
Blade Material: Drop forged 1060 (HRC 56-57)
Finish: Black Powdercoat
Handle Material: STN 66 Supertough Nylon or Hickory
Sheath: Kydex scabbard with Low Ride MOC Straps




If you are buying a Model 1 to throw, go with the Nylon version. The forces of throwing will dramatically increase the wear on the hickory handle.


Kydex sheath
$65.00
In stock

This is a direct replacement sheath for our Model 1 Tomahawk. Note: This sheath is included with a new Model 1 Tomahawk. This will also fit VTAC tomahawk models from the year 2000 - current. If your VTAC is older than that, please contact us prior to purchasing. This will not fit any other American Tomahawk models.
Includes 1 Kydex Scabbard and a set of MOC Low Ride Straps

www.AmericanTomahawk.com