Bikernet Blog Search Bikernet
Ride Forever - Bikernet.com
Thursday Edition


EXCLUSIVE: International War Threat Commentary

Kim Jong Un - Current Global Hoax #329

J.J. Solari, Bikernet War Expert, Pentagon
6/30/2021


Share this story:






Along with the current global hoaxes of, for instance, humans causing climate anomalies, Biden getting more legal votes than Trump, jury duty being not a duty but a privilege, Gavin Newsom having an IQ, Kamala Harris having an awareness level higher than a house plant, Ocasio Cortez being able to answer a question, the annual cold and flu season being a species-threatening pandemic, lip-synching being an actual anything, journalists being writers, bureaucrats giving a shit about non bureaucrats, that you don't think you have to actually pay for the "20% FREE" product in the extra-large detergent container, cops ever having read a book, kids being health threats to granma, granma not having a problem dying alone surrounded by "privilege"-hating psychopaths who DO get to see granma while her own family can't - along with all these is the myth that Kim Jong Un is a threat to anyone other than to his food tasters. And he must have a lot of those, judging from his size.



Kim Jong Un is probably the least threatening to the world and most feared by journalists.....dictator of clueless idiots.... in human history.

And yet the news hacks....well, let me put it this way: you'll wait a very long time before you see The New York Times, or any news outlet that worships The New York Times, which would be all of them, you'll wait a long time before any news hack ever comes out and admits that every photo of Kimmy that they publish proves 1: that news hacks are worthless assholes who never tell the truth, and that 2: Kimmy is a happy clown actually going out of his way to see how far he can test journalist stupidity and worthlessness.



Every time Kimmy allows a photograph of himself to be released to the Worldwide Idiot Journalist Cult he does everything possible to admit via the photograph that he's totally full of shit. And yet every photo is diligently broadcast by the Idiot Journalist Worldwide Press Sewer and proclaimed to be everything Kimmy says for them to proclaim them.

Here's just six reasons even a dead cat in the roadside could see that Kim Jong Un is merely a bloated bilious balloon filled with bilge water and barf particles.




1: He is surrounded in every photo buy a dozen 90-year-old skinny men in baggy military attire, all of them smiling, and all of them jotting down notes into a small Spiral notebook police sergeants used in the ‘50s. None of them have cell phones. They can't just fucking record what Kimmy is saying. Probably because Kimmy probably doesn't allow his worshipping subjects to know cell phones actually exist. If any of them knew cell phones actually existed they would all die of fright thinking the Supernatural Demon of Magic had just taken over the planet. They'd react to cell phones the way Swahilis reacted to matches in 1850.



2: He claims to have hydrogen bombs even though he actually goes out of his way to prove that he doesn't. Tell that to the "American" press.

Enclosed are two pictures of Kimmy and his entourage of edentulate skeletons scribbling notes calmly while encircling what the press insists is a hydrogen bomb. They're meandering around a fucking hydrogen bomb! Even though it LOOKS like an aluminum or plastic replica of a very large flood-control valve or conduit-joint for a nonexistent oil pipeline, since there ARE no oil pipelines in North Korea because there are no automobiles in North Korea because there is no industry in North Korea or filthy fossil fuels from dinosaurs in North Korea or jobs to drive to in North Korea.



And if you think the world's semi-industrial nations, stupid though they may be, would allow the most sociopathic member of the most destitute country on earth to possess a working fucking hydrogen bomb.....you just ain't thinkin'. Still, however, you're doing more thinking than the world journalists and their bosses are.

If that idiot EVER had anything larger than a pipe bomb at his disposal you can bet that either Russia or China marched in there long long ago and took it away from him OR from his dad OR from his grandfather 100 years ago.

North Korea has one export and it's not nuclear threats: its teenage Korean prostitutes being shipped-out for the world's potentates and mini potentates such as one might find in the Congresses, and Senates and States and city governments and national governments of the world. Because ANYTHING is better than living in North Korea where there isn't even popcorn. Even being a prostitute in Iran.



So, forget about Kimmy having hydrogen bombs. Do you think that even one journalist on the world-media scene who has written about that aluminum water valve that everyone with two eyes on earth has seen by now has ever said it's NOT a hydrogen bomb? Or at least has implied via the text that the accompanying picture to the article about Kimmy having more hydrogen bombs than Trump says "yuge" that is actually a water valve to nowhere.....and not actually not a hydrogen bomb?

Well, you would be wrong. That is supposed to be a hydrogen bomb that is leisurely resting in a hallway next to a parking lot and being casually strolled-about and written-about in prehistoric notebooks with fucking pencils. A hydrogen bomb, with men in Korean War Surplus clothing and writing in schoolroom stationery next to a hydrogen bomb they're casually perusing outside a hallway in a cafeteria for transport by hay wagon to the show-and-tell at the next Workers Plumbing Commune Tea-With-No-Crumpets mandatory attendance festival.

A hydrogen bomb. That empty hollow thing with a clump of wires to nowhere is a hydrogen bomb. Yeah ok.




3: Ecuador could conquer North Korea. And all Ecuador would have to do to accomplish that would be to make the announcement that they were on their way. Kimmy would be in the one plane that actually flies and heading for Macau or Monaco with ten cauldrons of boiling gold on board and ready for distribution to all his welcomers.

4: Kimmy would never provoke an attack because he knows all his worshippers are useless combatants because he knows they are braindead idiots and have no idea what combat even is. As an example of their childlike boneheadedness, everyone in North Korea is convinced that Kimmy's huge blubbery fat-packed body is what happens when you are dying of malnutrition. No: REALLY.

I know what you're saying: no one's that clueless.

Hey, we here in America think the annual cold and flu season is a "great and mighty plague." We think that making ice cubes is heating the earth. And the Koreans think that balloon-sized arms, legs, belly neck and face are what happens when you don't eat enough. They ain't all that different from us in some ways.

It's called "believing your ruler is NOT a sociopath." Or "being a citizen" in other words. Or comrade. Depending on what branch of socialism you live under, Secret Society socialism, "Christian" socialism, Marxist socialism, Hindu socialism, Buddhist
socialism, or Islamic, or more accurately, ancient Assyrian, socialism.

So, yes, North Korean citizen-comrade-all-in-this-together people don't see a swollen, fat, gluttonous, munchkin, waddling, thunder-thighed fuckhead apparition when they see Kimmy: they see an emaciated starving selfless, saintly godlike creature giving his life via fasting and abstinence to save theirs. Kind of like a Commie Jesus, more or less.

5: Every "rocket launch" photo is a childish concoction so amateurishly sloppy it wouldn't fool a chimpanzee, forget about a human. It gets right past America's, Canada's, England's and Australia's journalists, however. They are convinced that they are seeing the New Galactic Emperor in action, showing his mighty wares to the trembling earth inhabitants; his interstellar annihilators against which we have no hope of survival flying upward like V2 rockets from 1945, the very latest in warfare.



Kimmy sits at the end of a runway since that's where rockets take off from and it's just him, the 1950 news photo, a pair of binoculars not made in North Korea and the world's journalists declaring this scenario a mighty war machine to be reckoned with. Delaware could reckon with Kimmy's mighty war machine.



6: Kimmy has one known pal: Dennis Rodman. Dennis Rodman!! If this doesn't prove Kimmy's seeing how far he can push Western gullibility, nothing ever will.

--J.J. Solari
Bikernet War Expert
Pentagon

Quick, join up. Just click and go.
Quick, join up. Just click and go.





Share this story:



Back to Of Cultural Interest, Special Reports




Reader Comments


THE MAN IS HILARIOUS, LOVE IT

NEAL FARMER
BEEBE, ARKANSAS
Friday, July 2, 2021
Editor Response You mad his day, if that's possible.
--Bandit

Your thoughts on this article

Your Name
Email
City
Country
v
State/Province
v
Comments
Anti-Spam Question:
Please enter the words you see in the box, in order and separated by a space. Doing so helps prevent automated programs from abusing this service.
Submit
Clear