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Wednesday Edition

December 21, 2000

6/8/2010 2:29:41 PM

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Ah, last weekend. A blur of warm fires, warm women and Christmas Parades. Friday night was something out of a Holiday porno movie, followed by Redondo Beach Boat parade Saturday, another party, and a midnight ride on the blacked-out Buell back to the Headquarters. The next morning we had our first run on the dual carbed '48 Pan. It starts first kick, but there's an idling problem, then a bolt fell out of the shifting mechanism on my way back from Walker's Cafe and I was stuck if first gear for a couple of miles. Helluva way to break in a new top end.

That night was filled with another party near the canals in Long Beach. It's Christmas Week, the lights are bright, Christmas Cheer is in full bloom and you and I should not be working, so let's get the hell out of here quick:

HARLEY-DAVIDSON MOTOR COMPANY NAMED TO FORTUNE LIST OF 100 BEST COMPANIES TO WORK FOR-- Harley-Davidson Motor Company has made FORTUNE Magazine's annual list of 100 Best Companies to Work For, coming in at No. 92. This is the third time in four years that Harley-Davidson has been on the list.

More than 36,000 employees at the candidate companies filled out the Great Place to Work Trust Index, an employee survey that evaluates trust in management, pride in work and the company, and camaraderie.

Details will be available in the Jan. 8, 2001, issue of FORTUNE, which hits the newsstands Dec. 25, 2000. Robert Levering and Milton Moskowitz, best-selling authors of The 100 Best Companies to Work For in America, assisted FORTUNE in compiling the list. For more information visit: http://www.fortune.com/fortune/bestcompanies/

New Bikernet Staff member.

WHOAAAA!!! ALMOST FORGOT TO TELL YOU!!! If you get an invitation to view a Biker Graphics Site, YES A BIKER SITE, from someone you don't know, DONT OPEN IT!!!! It's a Virus! It nailed me just by opening it, fortunately my virus scan caught it, but it's a VERY INTELLIGENT VIRUS that'll put an icon in your "Favorites" bar, & an invisible program on your Start Up for Windows! Whoever created this fucker is too damn clever!

I killed the Virus, but it had an "Invisible back up" that attached to my Windows Start up, so after killin' it, I searched my whole system & had to find the Invisible Back-up on the Start up MANUALLY!!!

AE: You can kill the Virus, but if you don't manually Seach throughout Windows, You're Screwed! It'll back up the origanal Virus, & re-attach itself to Windows!!! NO SHIT!!! Damn! Sorry but I can't remember who it was from Somethin' like Slipery Petes Biker Graphics or Slimey Something??? I killed the whole thing, but forgot to write down who the sender was! Dumb move on my part, but I needed ta kill it ASAP & just dove in kickin' ass & forgot to take names :-( SOOOO, BE CAREFUL of invites from Biker Graghics sites ya don't know! Someone is targeting Biker Sites now! Go figure???

CHRISTMAS DREAMS--If you're a dreamer, or even if you're not. Oh fuck it. we're bikers, we're always dreaming about doing something to our bikes or building another one. This is a Cyril Huze creation. Check his catalog if you want some of your dreams to come true.

DEAR ABBY: I am a sailor in the US Coast Guard. My parents live in the suburb of New Orleans and one of my sisters,who lives in Baton Rouge, is married to a transvestite. My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Detroit.

I have two brothers, one who is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Attica for rape and murder of a teenage boy in 1994. The other brother is currently being held in Angola on charges of incest with his three children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in the Gulfporte and indeed is still a part-time "working girl" in a brothel. However her time there is limited, as we hope to open our own brothel with her as the working manager.

I am hoping my two sisters would be interested in joining our team. Although I would prefer them not to prostitute themselves, at least it would get them off the street, and hopefully the heroin...

Abby, my problem is this: I love my fianc? and look forward to bringing her into the family and of course I want to be totally honest with her.

Should I tell her about my cousin who voted for Gore?

--Signed, Worried About My Reputation

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT-- All is sort of quiet here in the tropics, the Toy Run took place last Sunday, but it's been raining for awhile, You guys get snow storms and cold fronts, we get waves and rain. There was a party up in the mountains afterwards, and by what they are telling me, lots of people at the party, not so many at the run. Guess they dropped the toy and went for the booze. We are trying to get our shit together and getting to mail shirts and stuff. Give us a call if interested in some cool Chopper or shop shirts from Puerto Rico. Special price if you mention Bikernet.com. (sorry for the plug Bandit..) Just saw the new plates and brake light from Choppers Inc. Cool ass shit ! An Iron Cross, and Spades brake light, with machined billet plate holder.

This was just a short report. I want to wish all the brothers out there Happy Holidays and the best ever New Year possible. Ride more, work less, money, health and a fuckin'brand new chopper to all.

By the way here's my wish list for the old red fat dude.... No helmets, to all of us who have to wear them without choice. A brand new kick ass chopper ! self explanatory. Sex, sex, and some more sex.....! super self explanatory. No accidents, no tickets, no thieves. Good riding weather, friends and times. Less crowded Daytona and Sturgis (while at it real prices for food, hotels and stuff) Being able to cruise Main Street without taking an hour, full of mag photo guys and good looking chicks with big boobs waving. Getting your mug in any of the magazines. Getting your bike in any of the magazines. And finding that old barn bike for less than a thousand bucks...........while having them in your pocket...

Good luck and Saludos from the Caribbean......Jose

WARNING-- I don't normally pass along these warnings and alerts, but this one sounds serious. I hope you'll read it and pass it along to all of your female friends. We can't be too careful!

--Darcy Betlach

WARNING !!!!! If a man comes to your front door and says he is conducting a survey and asks you to show him your tits, DO NOT show him your tits. This is a scam and he is only trying to see your tits.

QUANTUM REPORT--COULD BE A FINAL CHAPTER--On December 15th 2000 I attended the Bankruptcy Hearing for American Quantum Motorcycle of Melbourne Florida in the United States Bankruptcy Court in Orlando Florida. On that date they changed the Status of Court Case 0008472-Ob1 from Chapter 11 to Chapter 7

Any one who has a claim against Quantum should contact the court and submit it. Employees being owed back pay should use form B10 (Official Form 10) (4/98) The next scheduled court date is December 27th in Orlando.

RHOUSE CREW-- This ship of fools is gettin'closer to heading out on our first cruise:) We might have ta leave port without Flag onboard? Jim Buck can dig all that Navy talk; for y'all, it means: even on my "chopper'puter" I get the "blinkin'logo" of Roadhouse. So, low-end viewers will be able to hit our pages. And Magic Bob/Lil'Kat(my kids)have just got'a new house in the hills ta move to, before Christmas. But, we have LadyGrace to skipper this E-vessel.

Y'all are "plank-owners", or like in the gangs, Charter Members. That & $3, will get ya'a cup'a coffee at Starbucks:) But we're not on this ride for the money; not yet; right? So, work with LG, your editor, RoadHouseWench@aol.com; get her your bio/photo & first article. She/we work office hours, Tues/Wed/Thru. Y'all are on the job 24/7. Don't stress; all that means is: try ta get'a local run once/mo & if ya want'a cover more stuff, or write shit, feel free. But find the shit the big bike mags won't cover. Write like you're just talkin'in'a bar. We will have a "Turn Out Room"; if ya got'a bitch, or want'a goof on'a other staffmember; rip on! It won't sink this ship & might be fun for our(hopefull)viewers.

--Ride On! Wino Joe,USA I'm off ta party with "Lucky" The Redhead; I might "get" lucky:)WJUSA

CHRISTMAS MORNING RIDEIf you live in the L.A. area and don't have anything going on Christmas morning, I'm having a short Breakfast ride from the Bikernet Headquarters to the Queen Mary for Breakfast. Call (310) 521-9900 for directions or info. We're thinking about making it a tradition for us homeless, penniless, family-less, Santa-less bikers. Or if you've had just about enough Christmas Humbug and want to escape for a few hours, before the relatives arrive.


T'was the night before Christmas - Old Santa was pissed,
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.

Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks,
I have good mind to scrap the whole works.

I've busted my ass for damn near a year,
Instead of "Thanks Santa" - what do I hear.

The old lady bitches cause I work late at night,
The elves want more money - The reindeer all fight.

Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids,
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.

And just when I thought that things would get better,
Those assholes from IRS sent me a letter.
They say I owe taxes - if that ain't damn funny,
Who the hell ever sent Santa Clause any money.

And the kids these days - they all are the pits,
They want the impossible ...Those mean little shits.

I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds,
Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads.

I made a ton of yo yo's - No request for them,
They want computers and robots...they think I'm IBM!

Flying through the air...dodging the trees,
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees.

I'm quitting this job...there's just no enjoyment,
I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.

There's no Christmas this year...now you know the reason,
I found me a blonde.. I'm going SOUTH for the season!!

Ho ho ho ho ho ho

Hey! BLACK MAGIC TATTOOS & ART HAS MOVED TO: Tattoo_You_Gypsy@yahoo.com feel free to write or send photo's or comments to the new addy. If you're in the NW Washington area and want a quality tattoo call (425) 344-3103 for an appointment! Gypsy

CENTURY MOTORCYCLES CHRISTMAS PARTY--Here's a couple of images of the bash at one of the oldest bike shops in the country. That's Cindy R. the owner there smiling as bikers from all over the South Bay devour her chow. Watch for the interview with Cindy in an upcoming interview in Hot Rod Bikes magazine. She has a story to tell. Actually more than one.

SUMMARY AS OF: 2/24/2000--Introduced. Handgun Safety and Registration Act of 2000 - Amends chapter 53 (Machine Guns, Destructive Devices, and Certain Other Firearms) of the Internal Revenue Code to, among other things: (1) require the registration of handguns in the National Firearms Registration and Transfer Record; (2) provide for the sharing of registration information with Federal, State and local law enforcement agencies; and (3) provide for the imposition of the five dollar transfer tax on handguns and a $50 tax upon the making of each handgun.

PLEASE READ THIS, IT'S IMPORTANT NEWS TO ALL GUYS WHO GO CLUBS OR BARS AND DRINK-- Guys, be more alert and cautious when getting a drink offer from a girl. Good girls out there, please forward this message to your guy friends. And girlfriends, take heed.

There is a new drug called beer, that is essentially in liquid form. The drug is now being used by female sexual predators at parties to convince their male victims to have sex with them. The shocking statistic is that beer is available virtually anywhere!

All girls have to do is buy a beer or two for almost any guy and simply ask the guy home for no-strings attached sex. Men are literally rendered helpless against such attacks. Please! Forward this to everyone you know...

BUELL REPORT-- Be sure to check out Barrie Gerolamy. Excellent H-D head porter for all years. Is also working on porting H-D and Buell throttle bodies. Also Tilley H-D out my way. But he is pretty busy getting ready for the racing season this year. Later, Paul

COAST TO COAST BIKER NEWS-- By BILL BISH, National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM)

MINNESOTA A.I.M. ATTORNEY WINS RULING AGAINST GANG STRIKE FORCE In what is believed to be the first time bikers have successfully gone head to head with the Minnesota Gang Strike Force, the Law Offices of Stephen R. O'Brien succeeded in obtaining judgment in favor of Michael Kanne and the Minnesota Motorcycle Club Coalition (Confederation of Clubs). Kanne and the MMCC sued the strike force on October 5, calling a search this summer at Kanne's St. Cloud apartment illegal. Kanne, a member of the Christian motorcycle club Bond Slaves, is Secretary for the MMCC and has no criminal record.

Seized were various items of personal property as well as three computers, dozens of disks and tapes, club mailing lists and other items belonging to the Coalition. Kanne's lawyer, Minnesota Aid to Injured Motorcyclists (A.I.M.) attorney Stephen R. O'Brien filed a Notice of Motion and Motion for the return of all property and the unsealing of the supporting affidavit, the document which justifies the signing of the search warrant. ''By refusing to divulge the supporting affidavits, the government has shown no justification for the search,'' according to O'Brien, who has served as legal counsel for the MMCC since its inception. At a hearing on November 9, 2000, Judge Bernard Boland ruled in favor of Mr. Kanne and the Minnesota Motorcycle Club Coalition, immediately ordering the return of all property seized during the search. The judge also ruled that the supporting affidavit justifying the search warrant had to be disclosed. This may enable O'Brien to bring a 1983 Federal lawsuit against the Minnesota Gang Strike Force. O'Brien recently sued a Crystal, Minnesota bar for refusing service to a biker, and was awarded a $720.00 judgment in what is thought to be the first legal test of Minnesota's newly enacted Equal Access biker anti-discrimination law. Once again he has gotten a ruling which favors Minnesota bikers, and for his tremendous efforts over the years Stephen R. O'Brien was selected by the National Coalition of Motorcyclists board of directors to receive the NCOM Silver Spoke Award for Legal at next year's NCOM Convention in Orlando.


In long beach Superbowl Sunday, and here's your invitation: You can download the invitation here.

MASSACHUSETTS CONSIDERS ''NELLY'S BILL'' A bill to put ''motorcycle awareness'' programs in the high school and private driver education training classes has been filed by State Representative Bradford Hill, reports the MMA of Massachusetts. ''It will be referred to as 'Nelly's Bill,' in memory of Nelson Selig, Sr.,'' announced Representative Hill. Selig, a 38 year old father of two from Ipswich was killed earlier this year while riding his motorcycle when a teenage driver crossed the center line and hit his motorcycle head on. ''With this bill we hope to bring greater awareness of the more than 100,000 motorcycles on the roads of the Commonwealth each year,'' said Hill, ''and prevent some senseless tragedies.'' Rep. Hill continued, ''according to the Registry of Motor Vehicles, over 177,400 teenagers are currently licensed. In the formal driver training schools, no mention is made of motorcycles on the road. This bill would require about two hours of motorcycle awareness programs.'' ''Even for experienced drivers, motorcycles are difficult to see if we're not looking for them. Their speed is tough to judge. It's time we recognize they are on the roads, and we promote more 'awareness' and everyone 'checking twice,' looking out for them during the season,'' said Hill.

A CHILD ON THE BACK OF A MOTORCYCLE: FUN OR FOLLY? In an October 23 column in the Washington Post, a horrified woman told of seeing a small child hanging on to a man's coattails as a motorcycle sped up the interstate at 70 mph. Apparently the article prompted numerous responses, including this one: ''Dear Dr. Gridlock: After reading your letter regarding the child on the back of the motorcycle, Maryland Delegate Jean Cryor (R-Montgomery) has pre-filed a bill for the 2001 legislative session that would prohibit a child under the age of 12 from riding on the back of a motorcycle.''

RIOT SQUAD USES TEAR GAS ON STUFFED TOYS Police have ruined 700 toys due to be given out to needy children on Christmas, by covering them with tear gas during training. ABC News reported that officers in Clarksville, Tennessee, who were taking part in a tactical exercise, rolled a canister of tear gas into the warehouse that was storing the gifts, which were collected and donated by the Bikers Who Care group. They thought the chemical would harmlessly disperse into the air, but it settled on the toys instead, making them unsafe. All attempts to save the collection failed, and police worked with a local toy shop to replace the gifts.

SENATOR CAMPBELL TRADES HARLEY FOR MACK TRUCK U.S. Senator Ben Nighthorse Campbell did most of the driving of the Mack truck that hauled the nation's Holiday Tree from his home state of Colorado to the U.S. Capitol in Washington, D.C. Campbell, well known for riding his Harley-Davidson and speaking out for bikers' rights in Congress, has a Commercial Driver's License and practiced his driving by transporting various tractor-trailer loads for several companies acr oss Colorado.

GERMAN TEEN CAUGHT IN 75MPH MOPED DASH A teenager who spent all his time souping up his moped has been caught by the police on his first drive through town after reaching 75mph. The 15-year-old German boy had spent all his money and most of his time working on the moped and had managed to power the machine up to more than 70mph. In a dash through his hometown of Leverkusen, the schoolboy reached 75mph before being stopped by police who say he was doing thre e times the speed limit, as well as making a huge noise. He claimed that the speedometer only went up to 40mph and he had no idea he was going so fast. From STEVE GARCIA'S ''Stuff'', ABATE OF CALIFORNIA


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JAPANESE TV STATION SUED FOR STAGING BIKER RAMPAGE An imprisoned motorcycle gang leader filed a 23 million yen damages suit against an Osaka TV station on December 1, claiming he was sent to prison for a reckless driving incident that was staged for a program by the broadcaster. The 22-year-old man filed the suit with the Osaka District Court against TV Osaka Co., the program's director and others, claiming he was convicted of violating the Road Traffic Law because he organized and took part in the nighttime biker rampage in summer 1999 at the request of the director. Lawyers representing the plaintiff claimed he is serving a prison term because he had found the request very difficult to refuse. The lawyers also said TV Osaka violated ethics and rights-protection rules of the National Association of Commercial Broadcasters by shooting a program that covered ''a crime whose scale and time were prearranged.'' According to the suit, the motorcycle gang leader, who was not identified, was asked by the unnamed director to arrange a group ride in July and August 1999 that would be covered by the TV crew. The man, who was on probation at the time for an earlier reckless driving conviction, accepted the request despite misgivings and asked another motorcycle gang to take part, according to the suit. The TV crew shot the cyclists' wild and noisy nighttime jaunt, in which the plaintiff took part, in August 1999 and broadcasted it the following month. The man was later arrested and received a four-month prison term in May. He is still in jail because his probation on the previous conviction was revoked. Police also turned over to prosecutors their case against the TV director, alleging that the director encouraged the bikers to violate the traffic law, but the Osaka District Public Prosecutor's Office decided not to file charges. THE JAPAN TIMES

WILLPOWER DRIVES ARMLESS THAI MECHANIC Gontong Puntaeng was born with just small stumps for arms, but if you need your motorbike fixed he comes well recommended. The largely self-trained Gontong has fixed hundreds of motorbikes with his feet in the past 10 years in Thailand. Before that, he spent five years repairing bicycles. ''After several years of carefree youth, I quit wasting time and decided to get a job by training myself to fix pushbikes,'' the 37-year-old mechanic told REUTERS reporter Nopporn Wong-Anan from his grease-flooded workshop in Suphanburi province, 120 km (75 miles) northwest of Bangkok. His garage shop is a tin-roofed one-story shelter in which half the space is taken up as a living area for Gontong and his family. ''I turned to repair motorcycles because I thought it would give me more money.'' Gontong has perfected the use of his feet to tighten even small screws or use an electric saw without assistance. He says he learned his trade from scratch but was helped by a 10-day tutorial on mechanics run by a government-run vocational center. ''I once disassembled almost every part of a motorcycle and put them back together.'' His monthly earnings are not large, even by Thai standards, but enough to look after himself and his mother. ` ''There have been good and bad days, but on average I make around 1,500 baht ($40) a month,'' he said. Handicapped and disabled people in Thailand usually get no special financial support from the government, although some go to special state schools. Many handicapped people live with and are supported by their parents, while others end up selling government lottery tickets or begging in the street. Gontong said his appearance sometimes deters potential customers at first. ''The first time people see me and how I look...they don't believe I could do the job,'' Gontong said while taking apart a metre-long plastic cover from a scooter frame with his toes. ''But when they see me working they have confidence that I can fix things, and many people from neighboring areas have started to bring their bikes to me as well.'' But Gontong doesn't just fix motorcycles -- he also rides one. He has a scooter which he modified to allow him to control the accelerator with his foot. He uses strings attached from the stumps of his arms to the handlebars to steer the scooter. If he needs spare parts, he can ride off on his scooter to buy them in person. He won three certificates from Thailand's Labour Ministry four years ago for his skill at repairing bikes and his ability to teach others. Gontong says he has no interest in taking up sport and competing in the next paralympics. ''But if there was a motorbike feet-fixing competition, I am sure I could win,'' he said with a smile. Gontong says he is proud of what he does. ''Sometimes I feel discouraged and depressed, but when I think of myself again, I am proud to be able to perform my work and to see that many people respect what I do,'' he said.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: ''The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it.'' --Albert Einstein

BUSH WINS ELECTION... He and Cheney are having lunch at a diner near the White House. Cheney orders the "Heart-Healthy" salad.

Bush leans over to the waitress and says"Honey, could I have a quickie?"

She's horrified! She says, "Mr. President, I thought your administration would bring a new era of moral rectitude to the White House. Now I see I was wrong and i'm sorry I voted for you," and she marches off.

Cheney leans over and says "George, I think it's pronounced 'QUICHE

AUSTIN/BLEU BAYOU H-D RACING SIGNS SZOKE FOR 2001 SEASON-- Austin/Bleu Bayou Racing has signed Canadian Superbike runner-up Jordan Szoke to ride the team?s Harley-Davidson VR1000 for a one-year contract, covering the 2001 AMA Superbike season. The past year saw Jordan on the Canadian Superbike podium five times in seven outings, with four wins. The team, formerly known as Bell County/Bleu Bayou H-D Racing, has also received a boost with the addition of Austin Harley-Davidson as a primary sponsor. Effective immediately, the team will be called Austin/Bleu Bayou H-D Racing.

In addition to rider and sponsor changes for the upcoming season, Austin/Bleu Bayou H-D Racing and Harley-Davidson Motor Company have agreed to collaborate on their AMA Superbike efforts for 2001, with the Motor Company providing VR1000 privateer bikes and technical support to Austin/Bleu Bayou H-D Racing.

Austin/Bleu Bayou H-D Racing is a motorcycle roadracing team that participates in the AMA Chevy Trucks U.S. Superbike Championship, the highest level of professional motorcycle roadracing in the U.S. Team headquarters are located in Temple, Texas. For additional information on Austin/Bleu Bayou H-D Racing, call Scott Brooks at (254) 773-3365.

HARLEY-DAVIDSON? VELO GLIDE-- There's an old Harley? saying: "If I had to explain, you wouldn't understand". The same is true for the Harley-Davidson Velo Glide. What do you see when you look at the Velo Glide? Sure, it's a bicycle, but if that's all you see take a closer look. The Velo Glide is pure Harley-Davidson. It's not about getting from Point A to Point B the fastest or the most economically. The Velo Glide makes a statement and it does it with style. It just feels right, even if you can't explain why. Stand back and your appreciation grows. Your expectations are exceeded. There's definitely more here than meets the eye. But, then again, they aren't for everyone.

TWO ALIENS-- landed in the Arizona desert near an abandoned gas station.They approached one of the gas pumps, and one of the aliens addressed it. "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader."

The gas pumps of course, didn't respond. The alien repeated the greeting. Again there was no response.

The alien, annoyed by what he perceived to be the gas pumps haughty attitude, drew his ray gun, and said impatiently, "Greetings earthling. We come in peace. How dare you ignore us in this way! Take us to your leader, or I'll fire!"

The other alien shouted to his comrade, "No, you don't want to make him mad!" But before he finished his warning, the first alien fired. There was a huge explosion that blew both of them 200 meters into the desert, where they landed in a heap rather abruptly.

When they finally regained consciousness, the one who fired turned to the other one and said, "What a ferocious creature. It damn near killed us! How did you know it was so dangerous?"

The other alien answered, "If there's one thing I've learned during my travels through the galaxy, when a guy has a penis he can wrap around himself twice and then stick it in his own ear, you don't mess with him."

SAMSON EXHAUST--Just after the first of the year we will be highlighting Samson Exhaust, a sponsor of Bikernet, and exhaust pipe technology. Watch for it. Since pipes are as critical to tuning as your carb, we plan to get to the bottom of the mystery, and bring the data directly to you.

MERRY CHRISTMAS & Ho Ho Ho! I was sitting in my offic humming Christmas carols when Bandit dropped by with my Christmas bonus. The platter of bagels on my desk was growing stale and dry after the morning holiday festivities, but I had been too caught up in the day's business to attend to its removal. The cream cheese was congealing and had taken on the appearance of a pile of melted ice cream. Cleaning up the mess was the first thing I'd get too after Bandit left.

"Sundance, the bike show is one of our visitor's favorite new areas. You and the Digital Gangster have really created a great feature", he started. "We want to promote the bike show as much as we can, so I've committed you to riding in nine toy runs between now and Christmas."

Bandit beamed at me like a man who had just received a gift certificate to a Las Vegas bordello, and I cringed. My holiday schedule was already tight, and I would never be able to make all of Bandit's events in a few short weeks.

"Bandit, you know we have the reps from Chrome Specialties coming to visit this week. We're doing the town, and I'm greasing the skids for the 2001 contract. My dog is still at the vet, and I have to fly out of here on Wednesday to get to Chicago for Christmas. When exactly do you think I will fit all of these toy runs into my schedule?" I was having a hard time keeping the irritation out of my voice.

"Come on Sundance, what's one or two extra toy runs? You can handle it. By the way, here is your Christmas bonus. Santa is getting you a new Daytec frame this year. Ho Ho Ho!" He turned on his heel and disappeared chuckling down the hall. "You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout..."

I considered using the cream cheese spoon as a mini catapult to jetison the contents of the container toward the receding back of the jolly old elf, but the thought of cleaning up the mess later stayed my hand.

Nine toy runs! How was I going to manage it? The only answer was the great team we have here at BikerNet. I would have to call on my colleagues.

First I figured out which toy runs were scheduled after Wednesday. Even Bandit would have to admit that I couldn't be in two places at once! That calculation dropped my dilemna down to five toy runs. OK, five might be manageable. I called Sin Wu and asked her to drop what she was doing to head to the toy store for me. "I need five great toys. Oh, and pick up four more for us to send to the toy runs I can't ride in, OK?" As always, Sin Wu knew just what I needed and came back looking like a tall, sleak version of one of Santa's elves.

Next I checked on times and locations, called each of the organizers for details, and started calling in favors from the rest of the staff. Agent Zebra was in town for the holidays, and he owed me big time. Luckily, it didn't take much arm twisting to get him to take my place at toy run #1. "You know I'm happy to do anything I can for the kids." The Digital Gangster was just as helpful with toy run #2 in Kent, Washington. Needless to say, by the end of the week, all of the BikerNet staff had made it to a fun and worthy toy run, and me, well, I made my plane.

I hope those toys will really make some child's Christmas a little merrier this year, and the stale bagels reminded me to make my annual donation to the Harvest Food bank for the homeless.

The BikerNet staff is a great team! Everybody pitches in when someone needs a hand. They love to ride, and they live to make people happy through their riding and the tales of their experiences.

And Bandit, well, he was happy to see everything work out so smoothly. He called me on the air phone. "Sundance, I probably shouldn't have thrown all those toy runs at you just two weeks before Christmas, but thanks for covering them all. I won't dump on your schedule like that again. Will you forgive me please?" "Of course", I said. "Don't worry about it. Have fun back at HQ with the girls, and I'll see you after the first of the year. Merry Christmas, Bandit!"

I smiled as I snuggled down in my seat - my eyes growing heavier and heavier, the drone of the airplane engine lulling me to sleep. "Yep, together we are the strongest biker team on the internet." As I drifted off, I noticed snowflakes out the window. "I'm so lucky to work with these guys.... hmmmm,looks like a white Christmas this year."

--Love ya! Sundance

New from the Outlaw Motorcycle Company:

Inspired by the latest aftermarket motorcyle wheel designs, these CNC Machined, Billet Aluminum yo-yo's are one of a kind! They are beautifully styled and machined and also play smooth as silk. The axel is made of a precision ball bearing that is pressed onto a stainless steel stud and fitted into a rolled threaded axel hole. This design eliminates wobble and was designed for VERY long sleep times (one minute sleep is easily achieved.)

The engineered body gap and taper make for one big time responsive yo-yo. We also provide shims to optimize the body gap and change the return characteristics so beginners and experts alike can set it up for their own personal tastes.

Hard anodized brilliant red on one side, silver finish on the other. The two-tone look is STRIKING! You are never to old for one of these. They make fantastic gifts and are great conversation pieces. Everyone from the guy who just wants one to put on his desk or hang in his shop, to the serious yo-yo geek (that's us......) will treasure these!

Each one is serialized and available in limited quantities just in time for Christmas. A collectors item for sure. These promise to be a favorite for all who own them. The photo doesn't do it justice. You HAVE to hold one to truly appreciate the beauty, styling, and precision engineering in this piece.

They are available for secure online ordering in the gift shop here.

MERRY CHRISTMAS--That's it, there's more Christmas shopping to do, and Sin Wu is standing over me peeling out of her threads as if it was Christmas morning. Bikernet News There's a new Panhead tech up on installing dual Mikunis. More fiction has crept into the odessy file. Watch for the ultimate tech tip. It's one you'll read over and over. It's our Christmas gift to all who know how to have a good time.

Let's Ride, Bandit

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