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Monday Edition


Breaking Laws for Threedom PART I

Long Beach, Salton Sea, Phoenix

The Triking Viking AKA Koz Mraz
11/23/2012


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I’m the Triking Viking and nobody tells me what the freak to do, and I’m gonna go break some laws for Threedom.  One law I can’t break in California is driving a trike without a license, because here an M1 motorcycle license is not required, but that’s not going stop me from bustin' the hell outta a few others.

Three wheeled motorcycles or a motorcycle with a side car require only a Class C driver license. California Vehicle Code (CVC) 12804.9

The first law goin' down is a Long Beach city code that states cars are the only vehicles allowed in a garage.

  
ONLY bikes & trikes grace this garage I thumb my nose at those sons of beaches.

A Long Beach city code states cars are the only vehicle allowed in a garage: Cars have never seen the inside of this garage!  I fearlessly open my garage door exposing all my illegal cargo to the Long Beach law enforcement. This Triking Viking thumbs his nose at the “The Man” and his arbitrary rules.

To further fluster the fickle finger of freakin' fate, I’m breaking another California State law that prohibits women from driving in a housecoat. (But please do keep your helmet on ladies)California State law prohibits women from driving in a housecoat:

 
 

 Worn to be wild
Rock and roll honey! You go drive in your house coat, baby and that pink bathrobe is worn to be wild!

This outlaw renegade Viking is on the loose riding a 2012 Lehman Renegade and throwing all caution to the wind I roll eastward. Heading to Palm Springs, I had time to contemplate my Lehman three-wheeler and these so called ‘Laws.'  With Harley-Davidson's addition of the 103-engine in the 2011 touring line it’s the perfect match for the Lehman Renegade. The extra horsepower helps with the extra mass on the ass end of this baby. Cruise control only works up to 90 mph, I tried it a 95, oops, did I just break another law?  Officer I’m just doing research in the name of journalism...like that ever worked!

Full Throttle it’s 95 mph at 3700 rpm

I ruminated over a law just proposed by Santa Monica City Council.  It states that men be allowed to use Women's public restrooms when there’s a line of three or more and conversely women can use the Men’s room. Is there ever a line for the Men’s room…? Men, you’re doomed at the night club.  In Chico California a city ordinance mandates a $500.00 fine will be given to anyone who detonates a nuclear device within city limits. Do they know something we don’t?  You won’t get me within a 100 mile radius of Chico.  Other California traffic laws are Jurassic. It’s a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle unless the target is a Whale. How about a dinosaur suckers!

 

This T-Rex is going down!!! 

Palm Springs is winter playground for the Grays, Gays and Canucks. The Palm Springs Arial Tram is a cool trip but just remember: It’s Illegal to walk a Camel down Palm Canyon Drive between the hours of 4 and 6PM.  

 
 

I caught the passing of an antique steam engine rolling through Palm Springs (and parked illegally near the railroad tracks). With no camels to be found I ditched Palm Springs and continued eastward Salton Sea. This god forsaken stink hole is a good example of stupid is as stupid does.  When the Colorado River was being diverted in 1905 a breach let water flow to its lowest point. This was left unattended for years and a 30 by 15 mile lake was formed. The government figured the body of water would just dry up.  California’s largest body of water not only didn’t dry up it swelled because of irrigation run off (full of chemicals, mind you). Then some brilliant plan was hatched to make Salton Sea a water resort of the desert, but the saline content became so high algae thrived and blooms covered the lake.  Sooo, the brilliant idea of introducing Tilapia, algae eating fish was hatched, but since there were no natural predators the Talipa population exploded. Because of the hot temperatures, algae blooms and Tilapia overpopulation oxygen levels lowered and tens of millions of Tilapia die off regularly creating a stench that reaches 50 miles to Palm Springs. This comedy of errors completely devastated this desert resort leaving the entire Salton Sea rimmed with abandoned hotels, motels, yacht clubs and homes.  Property in Salton Sea is VERY reasonable.

 

As the fickle finger of fate would have it, my visit to Salton Sea would prove disastrous.  First, all the cool abandon yacht clubs, motels and establishments from the 1960s are gone, torn down and cleaned up. The mad maxness of this area is erased.  Secondly, Highway 111 that skirts Salton Sea is an evil bucking, undulating road tossing Trikes side to side with moguls and ruts. They seemed perfectly poised to test the Trikes mettle. Ruts and dips toss you about at the posted 65 mph and it's worse at 75. The Triking gods paved a road through Hell to test the faithful.  Did I mention the smells? Rotting algae, and Tilapia, then there’s the cow pastures and finally, on the Interstate 8 towards Phoenix, the smell of sulfur permeates the air.  Forget this route on a Trike; it’s just a bad idea that only gets worse. How I longed for the smooth boring asphalt of highway 10 to Phoenix.

 

The Space Age Lodge and Restaurant in Gia Bend was a welcome sight. Built in 1963 stands as a kitschy reminder of that bygone era…I come in peace, live long and prosper.

 
 
The 238 towards Phoenix was also a welcome sight.  Highway 238 to Chandler Arizona redeemed the entire ride.  It’s a beautiful two-laner with sweeping 60 mph curves thought an arid desert.
 
 
 

This Lehman Renegade averaged 140 miles per tank (on fumes), meaning I was getting about 24/25 MPG.  Yes, I was hammering its top speed of 95 miles per hour and the 103 is a great power plant, but the rider’s adage of never pass gas stops, could never truer. Some of the desert stretches didn’t have any service for 50 miles! Be very aware of this, because pushing a Trike anywhere is something you never want to do. With tons of storage, ample power supplied by the TC 103 and comfortable seating this Triking Viking is looking forward to my stay in Arizona, because there are some laws I intend to break  here.

 Breaking Laws for Threedom : Part II Arizona

Laws to be broken in Arizona:

No more than six girls may live in any house. (Maricopa County)

An ordinance prohibits the wearing of suspenders. (Nogales)

It is illegal for men and women over the age of 18 to have less than one missing tooth visible when smiling. (Tombstone)

Women may not wear pants. (Tucson)

Vehicles may not be driven in reverse. (Glendale)

 A decree declares that anyone caught stealing soap must wash himself with it, until it is all used up (Mohave County)

 In Arizona it’s illegal to take naked photographs before noon on Sunday (I’ll break this one with six girls in a house in Maricopa County)

Specs:

Mfr. Model H-D Road Glide®

Wheel Base: 64.5 in. (1638 mm)

Length: 102 in. (2591 mm)

Width: 53 in. (1346 mm)

Curb Weight: 1,069 lbs. (485 kg)

Trunk Volume: 5 cu. ft. (142 L)


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