The following schedule was developed and blessed by the Bikernet official Events board of Directors and sanctioned by the Queen of Thunder Road and her 500 subordinates... Actually, we are not sure the Queen of the Sturgis Rally has reviewed it or even checked our uniforms and haircuts. There's more inspections ahead. Keep your fingers crossed that we pass.

brou•ha•ha (n) a noisy commotion or uproar (formal) Encarta® World English Dictionary © 1999 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved. Developed for Microsoft by Bloomsbury Publishing Plc.

9 am – Event Opens: If we survived that, we'll be okay for the rest of the day.

9 am – 11 am - Registration for Bike Shows: (bikes stay in place 11 am to 6:30 pm.

Registration is free, just be there for the prizes. Lots of magazine editor judges. Bike Show 11 am to 6:30 pm

Bike show categories include: Best of Show ∙ American Manufactured ∙ European Manufactured ∙ Metric Manufactured ∙ Touring Bike - Metric/American ∙ Trikes and Sidecars- Metric/American ∙ Auto Bikes (Automotive Engines) ∙ Radical Chopper- Metric/American ∙ Bobber Style- Metric/American ∙ Early Chopper ∙ American Manufactured Custom ∙ Traditional Bobber- Metric/American ∙ Race Bikes- Metric/American ∙ Sport Bikes- Metric/American ∙ Antique and Antique Customs

Individual awards include Judge's Choice Award, Best Paint, Best Design, Best Detail and Best Sheet Metal.

11 am – 11:30 am Tattoo Contest: (walk up) cool prizes. This contest will be run by the notorious Ray Wheeler, the King of W8Less Rotors. Watch for him in the streets checking tattoos. The winners receive Torian Leather Products.

11:30 – 12noon - Fake Orgasm Contest: Keith ''Bandit'' Ball is the judge since he's witness over 1,000 actual orgasms. At least he thinks they were real…?

12noon – 1:15 pm Band Plays: (throw out prizes on break)

1:30 pm - 2:15 pm Honey I’m Home: We will have a bed and a small wall section with a open window. The contest will be open to 10 people with bikes that can be kick- started. Each contestant starts out on the bed (in their shorts) next to one of our beautiful models. We make the sound of a slamming door and the MC yells “Honey I’m home” which starts the clock.

The contestant jumps out of bed fear-stricken, puts on their pants, crawls through the window, pushes their motorcycles about 30 feet (which will take it out of the building) and the clock stops when they kick start the bike and it fires up. We plan to add some surprises for the contestants to liven it up even more.

2:15 pm – 2:45 pm Wet T-Shirt Contest:

2:45 pm – 3:15 pm Burn Out Contest:Held in the Burn Out Pit (for a complete set of Hard Krome pipes). Contest to be held outside the Thunderdome in the World Strongest and Heaviest Burn-Out Pit.

3:15 pm – 4:00 pm Tattoo Contest: (winners featured on Bikernet). Torian Leather apparel prizes.

4 pm – 4:45 Band plays second set

4:45 pm – 5:30 pm Ms. Bikernet Girl Contest: Ms. Bikernet will be chosen based on a combination of crowd support, physical appearance and biker knowledge, (recognizing bike parts, and answering some questions about the bike culture).

5:30 pm – 6:15 pm Hard Rock Spotlight: With Steve Tyler? It's still a mystery.

6:15 pm – 7 pm (Winners of the bike show: present trophies, shoot features with bikes and winning girls etc)

MARK YOUR CALENDARS FOR NEXT YEAR!!!

TRIUMPH’S STREET TRIPLE HOOLIGAN GETS NAKED

There is something sexy about a naked motorcycle. Add horsepower and reduce weight and you have something akin to a Supermodel.

Through a potent combination of performance DNA extracted from the Daytona 675 and aggressive street fighter styling drawn from the Speed Triple, Triumph unleashes the 2008 Street Triple Hooligan. The Street Triple 675 is lean, light and agile.

THE D&D PERFORMANCE ANGLE D&D produced a kit that includes a dyno-tuned exhaust pipe and a K&N Filter high-flow air filter (K&N #TB-6706). The results is a system that breaths better, looks better, weighs less and increases performance.

The performance kit includes a reduction in weight by 7 pounds. Options include standard or quiet muffler, black or chrome mid-pipe and polished aluminum or black housing. The pipe is finished off with a billet tip. The kit requires a Triumph EFI download #20198.

MAN VS. BEAST - A BATTLE FOR SALMON

The Greatest Predators Duke It Out - When we find the tastiest Salmon ever, that's when the river isn't big enough.

HARLEY-DAVIDSON AQUIRES MV AGUSTA

Harley-Davidson has ended months of speculation about its intentions to make a strategic acquisition by confirming that it has bought Italian maker MV Agusta for about $109 million to boost its presence in Europe.

MV Agusta Group has two families of motorcycles: a line of exclusive, premium, high-performance sport motorcycles sold under the MV Agusta brand; and a line of lightweight motorcycles sold under the Cagiva brand. MV Agusta’s F4-R motorcycle, powered by a 1078cc in-line four-cylinder liquid cooled engine, is rated at 190 hp. The company sells its products through about 500 dealers worldwide, the vast majority of them in Europe. In 2007, MVAG shipped 5,819 motorcycles.

Under the agreement, Harley-Davidson will also pay Claudio Castiglioni additional payments in 2016 if certain financial targets are met. MV Agusta is privately held, with the Castiglioni family owning 95 percent of the shares. Claudio Castiglioni will continue to serve as chairman.

The company began as an offshoot of the Agusta aviation company which was formed by Count Giovanni Agusta in 1923.

GEORGE CARLIN TRIBUTE: THE MOST VERSATILE WORD IN ENGLISH

Warning, Warning, Warning: If Your are Offended by the ''F-Bomb'' Don't Press Play!! For Our First Lesson - Utilizing one of the most versatile words in the English language for fun and profanity.

See more great biker programming in the Bikernet Studio.

NON STOP ACTION ON THE EAST COAST - The Smoke Out 9 Rally provided two days of outstanding weather and none stop action. The main attraction, of course, was the 2-wheel artists blasting their latest designs down the Farmington Raceway.

Get all the details and the write up at www.Bikernet.com.

The photo gallery: Over 100 pictures are posted at the Torian Chopper Leathers' Smoke Out Gallery. Check’m out.

WHEN BIKERS MEET HUMANS by J.J. SOLARI

Warning, Warning, Warning Will Robinson!

This book is not recommended for general readers, kids under eighteen, pregnant women, those with weak stomachs, rigid moral codes, or those who value life in all its infinite variety. Also, if you should buy it, read it, and are either deeply offended or unutterably bored, please don’t complain.

Socially Unredeeming Tales of Species in Collision

There is much less violence in this book than you might expect from the cover. The illustrations are unique and disgusting. You’ll certainly encounter fewer human casualties than you would watching any action-oriented film or television show.

However, animal lovers be warned, dogs do not fare well here, indeed the title might more appropriately substitute “canines” for “humans”. Those of a squeamish or fastidious nature should probably also avoid this book.

These stories are awash in body fluids, noxious happenings, blasphemy, casual cruelty and the sort of language that would cause Larry Flynt to blush.

So if you want something completely different, something really out there, then this is for you.

IT SCREAMS HORSEPOWER

This is it -- the heavy artillery. The dyno and race track proven Kuryakyn Hypercharger is your performance weapon on steroids. Get it at a discount right here.

GET A FREE PASS TO THE AMD CHAMPIONSHIPS IN STURGIS

Save $9 Entry Fee at the World Championships - Hot Bike Magazine is the consumer media partner for Dealer-World USA’s-AMD Magazine Official World Championship of Custom Bike Building held at Championship Park during the Sturgis rally, they are offering a free four-day pass to the event.

Regularly it’s $9 to get through the door, but don’t worry they’ve got you covered. It’s quick and easy, simply PRINT THE IMAGE and bring it with you to the entrance of the World Championship tent and enjoy admiring the best custom bikes in the world, all on our dime.

NEW REPUBLICAN CONTENDER: CAPT. KIRK

Pull My Finger - Who needs a socialist commie or a RINO when we can have Captain Kirk in 2008!

See more biker related videos and hear radio shows about bikers then click here for Bikernet Studios.

Don’t Miss The Builder's Breakfast

CUSTOM BIKE FANS: Your Chance to Hang with the Heavy Hitter Bike Builders in Sturgis! Get your tickets today! Tuesday, August 5th - $25 per ticket, benefits proceed Make A Wish, SD - Limited Number of tickets will be sold - 10AM Broken Spoke Saloon on Lazelle Street, Sturgis, SD Attend one of the biggest events of Sturgis Bike Week! Click on the photo above for a link where you can buy tickets.

BURING UP THE BEACH WITH HOT SWIMWEAR

This Hot! Hot! Motorcycle swimwear bikini line is old skool kool! Shown here in a Triangle Top and Tie Side Brazil Bottom is the latest from Chica Rica Bikini Company. Bikinis are always welcomed wherever you and your passenger goes.

Ladies can get creative and select their own bikini combinations by choosing any mix and match selections from the style of options listed below. This fabric is made up of a combination of 86% Nylon and 14% Spandex. Born out of trendy South Beach, Chica Rica deliver the latest looks and the hottest styles for cutting-edge fashion in swimwear.

The company offers two top-selling lines: The Chica Rica line, which is composed of several vibrant and exotic prints, and the Jelly line, which is composed of fourteen solid colors. All are available in a variety of mix-and-match styles for the perfect fit.

The BIG EVENT in Sturgis on 8.8.08 is only weeks away! Plenty of trophies to go around in several open categories, so stop thinking about it and plan your road trip today!

See you down the road...

-Thunder Bob