Friends don't let friends take home ugly men.
Women's restroom
Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE

Beauty is only a light switch away.
Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, NC

If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted together and have the time of our lives.
Armand's Pizza, Washington, DC

Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" it's "Hi, how are you?"
Rest stop off Route 81, West Virginia

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
The Bayou, Baton Rouge, LO

No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit.
Men's Room
Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, NC

At the feast of ego everyone leaves hungry.
Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson, AZ

It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
Written in the dust on the back of a bus,
Wickenburg, AZ

Make love, not war.
-Hell, do both
GET MARRIED!
Women's restroom
The Filling Station, Bozeman, MT

If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.
Revolution Books
New York, New York.

A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.
Women's restroom
Dick's Last Resort, Dallas, TX

If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress?
Congress!
Men's restroom
House of Representatives, Washington, DC

Express Lane: Five beers or less
Sign over one of the urinals
Ed Debevic's, Phoenix, AZ

You're too good for him.
Sign over mirror in Women's restroom
Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills, CA