PHILLIP RUDDOCK: I don't care why the chicken crossed the road it should be sent back to where it came from. Who knows what might happen if we keep letting any old chicken cross the road. We could be inundated with them. Send them to the farmer up the road a bit and we can pay him to deal with the problem.

JEFF KENNETT: If the chicken did cross the road it should have been fitted with an etag and should pay the same toll as all other road users.

STEVE BRACKS: Regional chickens should have the same opportunities to cross roads as chickens living in Melbourne.

JOHN HOWARD: The chick never crossed the road. And it was not forcibly removed from its mother! Anyway, that's a matter for the states and is of no interest to us. The united nations should butt out.

KIM BEASLEY: There WAS a chicken and it DID cross the road. This is a deliberate act by the government to hide the fact that chickens continue to cross Australian roads.

NATASHA STOTT-DESPOJA: What if it was not a chicken but a bantam? Minority sectors of our community shouldn't be discriminated against based purely on the size of their eggs and legs.

PETER COSTELLO: Accordingly to documentation submitted to the Live Foods Processing Authority, the chicken in question was uncooked at the Time of its journey and therefore will not incur a GST charge. However, if that chicken actually crossed the road for profit, regardless of its raw/cooked status, the road crossing would be considered by the ATO to be a service for which GST will be imposed.

PAULINE HANSON: Please explain.

ROBERT DE NIRO: Are you telling me the chicken crossed that road? Is that what you're telling me?

GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed and that was good enough for us.

CAPTAIN JAMES T KIRK: to boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it's true?

HANSIE CRONJE: What if I could guarantee that it won't get to the other side?

FREUD: the fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. How do you feel about your mother?

THE C.I.A: Who told you about the chicken? Did you see the chicken? There was no chicken. Please step into the car.

EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?