The day started moderately okay. Bandit and I were going to zoom up to Irwindale to talk to Geoff Arnold at his Joker Machine headquarters to order a raft of parts for the Shrunken FXR, then to Anaheim Hills to meet John the Frame Doctor to check out the progress on my frame, we thought we might also catch lunch with Scooter, our notorious Bikernet criminal attorney, then a leisurely glide back to San Pedro. No sweat, you say?

The closer we got to the foothills, the morning mist mixed with the carbon monoxide of a million or so cars careening all over the L. A. basin. Ocean breezes pushed this toxic stew into the eastern edge of the foothills. By the time we got to Irwindale, the Bandit and I were like a couple of breakfast eggs sizzling in a skillet.

Bandit called the Doctor to confirm our plan to pop by. No way, no how, says the Doctor. He's having a PMS kind of day. He hasn't started on my bike. He's got a hemorrhoid of a project to hammer out before he can start on mine. Dr. John also repairs sportbike frames and reported that sometimes the frames are so mangled that, well they should be shredded, not repaired. He was up against one of those. So no doctor visit.

A call to Scooter gets about the same results. He's got to work so no lunch. The day was starting to feel cursed and doomed.

So we knock on the door of Joker Machine. On the other side of the door we could hear the banshee howling of an animal possessed. As we walked in, Studley the Joker mascot, attacked with teeth bared, an upper lip curled in schizoid disdain. The rabid Chihuahua snarled, yapped, barked and yelped in a psychotic frenzy. Damn near took Bandit's arm off when he bent down to pat the little demon on the head.

Geoff grappled with the chain, holding back the crazed critter and welcomed us with a hearty handshake. Geoff was a gracious host, showing us all the latest Joker products and a few of the Joker toys including their new truck.

Joker's new Renegade traveling drag racing garage and party room.

Brian was outside welding together what appeared to be girders for a bridge. It turned out to be the sturdy ramp superstructure for the improved Joker Machine stationary Dyno. Like everything at Joker Machine, expertise and quality construction dominated. That's one reason we chose to use Joker controls, footpegs and aircleaners and their new rocker covers. The blue flame was domintated with Joker components primarily due to fit and finish. Bandit has never purchased a Joker part and had to modify it to fit.

Secret Joker Dyno testing facility. What will they think of next?

Joker is in the process of developing a testing facility for a new line of products, yet to be released to the public.

Over lunch and beers we discussed our design ideas for the new bikes Bandit and I are working on. The crew of Joker Machine looked at each other cautiously as Bandit babbled vague musings about "design integrity" and "hidden exhaust systems" or "creating a dense engine compartment." I chimed in, gesturing with my hands, waving my arms to demonstrate the contours of the frame and tank.

Geoff grinned and said that he thought Joker Machine was up to the task. Bandit laughed and said that we had planned to integrate a number of Joker Machine products into our new bikes. Joker Machine, Bandit said, is the bike parts distributor of choice. For example, he said, products like the adjustable foot pegs allow for adaptation to the individual rider needs.

In addition to the adjustable foot pegs, we intend to integrate into our design with Joker Machine tear drop vents, hand controls and a Joker air cleaner. We plan to modify Joker Machine forward foot controls to mid-controls.

The Joker Machine crew grudgingly finished their beers and got up to return to work. We all walked out side to a blast of heat that would curl the devils eyelashes. Brian climbed into the back of a Joker truck housing a new V-Rod for product development. Brian recently graduated from advanced schooling in metal fabrication and the Joker crew is looking to him for inspiration and guidance into new product arenas while their CNC design wizard Richard continues to modify and develop new billet products.

Brian the Joker steel fabricator wizard pondering the V-Rod.

Bandit and I ordered everything from Joker point cover to forward controls that have zero slop, positive lever movement, built in stop light switch and adjustable foot pegs so you don't vibrate off the pegs. They make all the difference in the world as Bandit attested to on his ride to Sturgis on the Blue Flame. We will doll up the Rev Tech black and chrome 88-inch engine with Joker Rockers that are fully machined from solid billet. The Wedge design enables total serviceability while the motor is in the frame. Bottom section is completely o-ringed. Base is clearanced for larger diameter valve springs and feature a unique modular baffle system for excellent venting characteristics. We're also using their hand controls because according to Bandit they're perfect. Our order contained a myriad of the little item also, like small triangular rear turn signals, mirror, gas cap, oil breather, throttle housing, billet clamps and bullet head bolt covers.

Finally we jumped into my truck and headed back to the ribbon of shimmering hot asphalt of the 210 Freeway. By the time we got to the 605 Freeway, it was 5:00PM and the Freeways were all at a turgid standstill, constipated with lumbering gas guzzling, smog spewing cars and trucks. It was one of those many moments when we wished we had those tight FXRs splitting lanes toward the cool salt air of the coast.

Doctor John promises to have the frame finished for pick-up next week. We'll report from his Anahiem, Ca location.

If you're in the Southern California neighborhood, Joker Machine is sponsoring a show at the Grand Opening of the Route 66 Roadhouse and Tavern, June 22 at 1846 E. Huntington Drive, Duarte, California. Call (626) 357-4210 for more information on the shows and Pig Roast.

My first concept drawing which Bandit puked on and shit-canned.

Here's the first of one of my bumbling concept sketches. We will be working with a racing Porsche sheetmetal fabricator on fenders, tanks and exhaust configurations. Wait until you see what Bandit and I come up with next.

On to Part 4........

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