Illustration by Jon Towle

"Aw' right. How many of you pencil necked geeks think you know how to ride a motorcycle safely?" Our instructor, Wayne Jackson, grinned at us sardonically, as he tried to instill in us some degree of learned caution. We were all planted in the drewery classroom for a variety of reasons, some to qualify for the DMV motorcycle riders license, some to reduce their insurance premiums, some to increase their skills, some because they know how dangerous riding a motorcycle can be. As for me, I'm trying to scrunch down in my seat as low as possible.

"I would strongly suggest we close the doors," Wayne slaps a hammy mitt on the side of his muscled arm, "the mosquitoes are rabid and vicious," as he crushes a fragile bug body. I look cautiously around for West Nile laden killer bugs, licking their killer bug lips. Harbor College is located in the midst of a swampy oil drenched bog at the edge of the L.A/Long Beach Harbor. A group of 18 to 20 neophyte and experienced, men and women are awkwardly seated in a sweltering classroom at Wilmington's Harbor College. We've assembled to experience the Motorcycle Training Center's "Riding and Street Skills Course." The training schedule includes two evenings of classroom training and two days of riding on their course.

"More than half the riders involved in motorcycle accidents have less than 5 months riding experience," Wayne quotes statistics from the HURT STUDY of motorcycle accidents. This 1980 5-year study by Prof. Harry H. Hurt is the basis for most of the course content.

As for me, I'm starting to have uncomfortable flashbacks to my 1969 Army basic training. My college education is for naught. What bike riding experience I have ran out the door screaming. I'm back to the military training logic of, "There's the right way, the wrong way and then there is the Army way."

My momentary flashback hallucinations are brought suddenly back to the present by Wayne's intense stare in my direction. He has obviously asked me a question while I was back at Viet Nam era Ft. Ord, trying not to be the dumbest recruit ever drafted.

"Sir," I vainly stumble at toadying to authority.

"Who's the most vulnerable on the road?" Wanye's expressionless stare in my direction caught me like a deer in headlights. I stared back in fearful incomprehension.

Answering for me, "Šthe motorcyclist." Wayne continues, "36% of motorcycle/car accidents in which the car is going 50MPH, have an impact speed of 50MPH. What do you think that indicates?" Wayne lightens the drill instructor demeanor enough to lower my panic response. But I still can't get my brain to signal my lips fast enough to speak.

"It means that the car driver didn't see the motorcyclist, and that the bike rider isn't sufficiently experienced to avoid the accident." The whole class breathes a sigh of relief as one. Wayne Jackson is one of a number of instructors who teach the "Motorcycle Rider Course: Riding and Street Skills." My other instructors included: David Bransky, Tim Thielmans and John Mueller. The $200 course has a variety of times and locations.

The Motorcycle Training Center, initiated by Red Runyon, opened in 1979. It is one of many such schools in California governed by the Calif. Motorcycle Safety Program. The driving course is rigorous but educational. It was a challenge for even the most experienced riders. There is constant repeated instruction, but the course doesn't allow for personal, extended instruction. If any student fails to negotiate the specific exercises or driving procedures, or presents an issue of safety to self or others, they are asked to leave the course. Students that fail to complete the days' instruction are allowed to repeat the course.

I'm sure some of you out there are going to rag on me for supporting such a rigid set of bike riding concepts. I agree that in the 'real world' there are a lot of unusual circumstances, unusually capable bike riders and experiences that may contradict this training. I also feel strongly that personal freedom is a primary issue.

The intent of this course is to give you sufficient survival skills to allow you to ride another day. They admit that the course will not guarantee your survival. Most will admit that they'll do whatever they have to do to survive. But few would take the position that ignorance is a valued possession. Experience is a great teacher, but experience can be a painful lesson.

The course driving tasks are regimented and very specific. Some of the tactics relate to: speed braking, accelerating through a turn, gear shifting, swerving to avoid a road hazard, weaving through cones, negotiating 90 degree turns, looking through turns, anticipating and reacting to traffic, and much more.

My challenge was to listen to directions, that and to not be so damn jerky in my braking or accelerating, or maybe not being such a jerk. "Squeeze," Wayne would holler at me above the roar of screaming Yamahas, "just squeeze the front brake, don't jerk." Or did he mean- "Šdon't, Jerk."

Somehow on my last day of driving, I managed to take in some of the instruction offered. My braking and accelerating was smoother. I managed to calm down enough to understand what was being said. Some were actually enjoying the day's riding. A casual camaraderie lightened the tension. The time had come to show what we had. Tim and John finally ran us through the testing phase. There was no joking around now. The peso was on the line. I don't think you could have forced a dime between our collective butt cheeks, we were all that tense. Each maneuver was viewed silently but critically. Each rider was evaluated on each element of required procedures.

When we finished, we rolled our bikes into the cargo container, handed in our helmets and stood in line silently, as if awaiting our orders for 'Nam. I passed! But not without a few of points against meŠ.that damn jerky accelerating through a curve, and a couple of other riding indiscretions, but I passed. Two guys had perfect scores. For what it's worth, I think this program is well worth the time and effort. I can't imagine anyone who wouldn't benefit. As a matter of fact, I'm trying to get that belligerent hard-ass, Bandit, to take the experienced riders course. We'll see what 30+ years of wild riding does for him.

The experienced rider course is one day of instruction and driving. The cost is $99. Another fun/educational biking experience offered by the Motorcycle Training Center is the Willow Springs "Streets of Willow" driving course. This is not a school but a chance for bike riders to test their mettle. Pro bikers will be there to swap stories and give advice. Riders must have 3,000 to 5,000 miles of riding experience. Ride your own bike and bring extra gas. Lunch is supplied. For information you may call Leslie at (818) 932-0433 or at www.ccriderlosangeles.com