How do you feel about your computer? I could easily take my old .357 Smith and Wesson revolver and blow this sonuvabitch into the briny harbor Pacific waters. I'd set the smoking gun down, go find a job driving a trash truck, and be able to hang out with the bros and drink beer until my kidneys failed, then you could toss my carcass into the Pacific along with my IMac. Life is nuts.

Ah, but the 5-Ball Factory Racer is coming right along. I hauled it down to Chica's for rear fender fitment, never thinking about the front fender. Should I? Chica makes his own wide ribbed fenders 5 and 6 inches wide. They're available for old tall 16-inch wheels and 18-inch wheels for an easy fitment to the tires. On my way south of Long Beach, California, I swung into Todd's Cycle. He was jammed with work. It's odd in this dour economy to see shops cookin'. Chica also was hustling to fill wheel orders, work on vintage bikes, and rebuild engines. I stopped in another shop on the edge of Long Beach, Richard Graves's car restoration facility. Damn, he does sharp work. He was working on a '50s Ariel square four.

Graves was also jammed with work, so the world ain't all doom and gloom. We just gotta provide a valuable service and be honorable businessmen, and we'll survive, goddamnit. Like Dave Rash, of D&D Exhaust says, "Motorcycles are mechanical Valiums. The world can go to shit, and the brothers take care of their motorcycles."

I like that notion. Chica marked my fender for stretching since his fender wouldn't wrap about a knockout Black Bike 23-inch wheel with an Avon Tyre. He indicated where the stretching would take place every 4-5 inches with a felt pen, then went to his machine. "You need to stretch it the same amount," Chica explained, "and stagger the stretching maneuvers to prevent the fender from warping or twisting."

I asked Chica if his fenders needed additional support where the fender rails would be attached. He pointed out that the extreme contours and the ribs added extra structural strength. But he did recommend two fender straps over the frame cross-member.

That did it, and Jeremiah and I loaded up the Racer for the return trip to the Bikernet Interplanetary Headquarters deep in the Wilmington ghetto. I started to work on the rear fender installation immediately. I bobbed it about 4 inches, but was grabbed by the rear wheel adjustment designed by Rick Krost of U.S. Choppers and manufactured by Paughco.

It's interesting, and I'm still getting the quirky hang of it. It automatically adjusts the ¾-inch axle back and forth, and up and down about ¾ inch. That element makes mounting the rear fender even more interesting. I was forced to don my patience- and-remain-flexible hat. Who knows if it's right, but I tried to work in several fender fluctuation means, so I could adjust it if necessary.

The fender was mounted with a single bolt at the bottom behind the battery case. Then, with the fender spaced evenly from the tire throughout the complete radius, I marked drilling holes for the fender straps. I drilled the holes, and the gods of stainless steel blessed my ass that day with a keen sense of accuracy. The holes and the fender straps lined up. I had to keep an eye on the axle adjustment, or the wheel was cocked right or left in the frame. "Ya gotta watch for the sweet spot," Rick Krost said. I called him in the middle of the night to quiz him about wheel adjustment and alignment.

I also needed to make a spanner wrench for his axle adjusters. I was in a hurry one night and built a crappy one with some strange punched out flat open-end wrenches. I just heated, bent the tangs, and ground it to fit. It was sloppy, and ultimately, I built another one with brazed ¼-20 bolts to another wrench. It fits much better.

I also attached the Pauchco toolbox strap to the chain side of the bike, since the pipes would interfere on the right. It worked out perfectly for an additional installment point for the chain guard.

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