The following schedule was developed and blessed by the Bikernet official Events board of Directors and sanctioned by the Queen of Thunder Road and her 500 subordinates... Actually, we are not sure the Queen of the Sturgis Rally has reviewed it or even checked our uniforms and haircuts. There's more inspections ahead. Keep your fingers crossed that we pass.

brou•ha•ha (n) a noisy commotion or uproar (formal) Encarta® World English Dictionary © 1999 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved. Developed for Microsoft by Bloomsbury Publishing Plc.

9 am – Event Opens: If we survived that, we'll be okay for the rest of the day.

9 am – 11 am - Registration for Bike Shows: (bikes stay in place 11 am to 6:30 pm.

Registration is free, just be there for the prizes. Lots of magazine editor judges. Bike Show 11 am to 6:30 pm

Bike show categories include: Best of Show ∙ American Manufactured ∙ European Manufactured ∙ Metric Manufactured ∙ Touring Bike - Metric/American ∙ Trikes and Sidecars- Metric/American ∙ Auto Bikes (Automotive Engines) ∙ Radical Chopper- Metric/American ∙ Bobber Style- Metric/American ∙ Early Chopper ∙ American Manufactured Custom ∙ Traditional Bobber- Metric/American ∙ Race Bikes- Metric/American ∙ Sport Bikes- Metric/American ∙ Antique and Antique Customs

Individual awards include Judge's Choice Award, Best Paint, Best Design, Best Detail and Best Sheet Metal.

11 am – 11:30 am Tattoo Contest: (walk up) cool prizes. This contest will be run by the notorious Ray Wheeler, the King of W8Less Rotors. Watch for him in the streets checking tattoos. The winners receive Torian Leather Products.

11:30 – 12noon - Fake Orgasm Contest: Keith ''Bandit'' Ball is the judge since he's witness over 1,000 actual orgasms. At least he thinks they were real…?

12noon – 1:15 pm Band Plays: (throw out prizes on break)

1:30 pm - 2:15 pm Honey I’m Home: We will have a bed and a small wall section with a open window. The contest will be open to 10 people with bikes that can be kick- started. Each contestant starts out on the bed (in their shorts) next to one of our beautiful models. We make the sound of a slamming door and the MC yells “Honey I’m home” which starts the clock.

The contestant jumps out of bed fear-stricken, puts on their pants, crawls through the window, pushes their motorcycles about 30 feet (which will take it out of the building) and the clock stops when they kick start the bike and it fires up. We plan to add some surprises for the contestants to liven it up even more.

2:15 pm – 2:45 pm Wet T-Shirt Contest:

2:45 pm – 3:15 pm Burn Out Contest:Held in the Burn Out Pit (for a complete set of Hard Krome pipes). Contest to be held outside the Thunderdome in the World Strongest and Heaviest Burn-Out Pit.

3:15 pm – 4:00 pm Tattoo Contest: (winners featured on Bikernet). Torian Leather apparel prizes.

4 pm – 4:45 Band plays second set

4:45 pm – 5:30 pm Ms. Bikernet Girl Contest: Ms. Bikernet will be chosen based on a combination of crowd support, physical appearance and biker knowledge, (recognizing bike parts, and answering some questions about the bike culture).

5:30 pm – 6:15 pm Hard Rock Spotlight: With Steve Tyler? It's still a mystery.

6:15 pm – 7 pm (Winners of the bike show: present trophies, shoot features with bikes and winning girls etc)

MARK YOUR CALENDARS FOR NEXT YEAR!!!